The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
1/20/2014 column
For the past month our house has been alive with the sounds of family and friends home for the holidays. I forgot how much I missed the commotion of meals, laundry and chores for a family of six. It has been a great break to have us all together again! Our front door has been in a constant revolution of friends and family dropping by to watch movies, grab a bite to eat or a meeting point for a night out. The house beats with a sense of vitality and life at the sound of laughter and shouts of joy with each storied shared and prank pulled. Arms and legs are intertwined within the confines of the couch, chair, coffee table and Christmas tree as the boys pick up a continuous wrestling match in the middle of the living room floor. I still don’t know how the three wise men and camels have survived this hurricane of activity over the years.
Yet within a matter of minutes life in our house changes and it suddenly becomes the title of a classic Simon and Garfunkel song. As the revolving front door closes behind Jonathon, Michael and Katie on their way back to college for another semester of higher learning, our house is filled with “The Sound of Silence.” The only sounds heard is the clanking of metal zippers and coverall hooks tossed inside the metal drum of the dryer as piles of winter layers are washed and stored for the next visit home. Soon the banging stops as the drying cycle ends and the house is quiet. The only sounds heard are sniffles, coughs and sneezes, the remainder of a cold left behind for those who remain at home.
Where did the time go? Sitting at the table with every chair filled, I look at the faces of our children…but they’re not children any more. Where has this time gone? I feel like it was just the a few years ago when I started to move aside so the kids could pick up responsibilities and chores around the farm. Now I find myself moving back into the rotation as I pick up their jobs left behind for school. Is this the start of “empty nest” syndrome?
Can there really be an “empty nest” syndrome on a family operated dairy farm? I remember when my siblings and I started moving away to college and careers. We had been Mom’s sole focus and Dad realized she was going to hit a brick wall when we were all gone. He encouraged her to go back to work in town to give her a new focus. Today on our farm, as the kids grow up and move out, I find I have less time on my hands than before. Someone has to pick up the chores left behind as the kids leave. Maybe that is a good thing because I really like working on the farm together with Mark. As my extended maternity leave comes to an end, I find myself back with my old chore routine BC time. (Before Children)
It is nice to be back in the routine. It is just like riding a bike, you never forget how but your body sure doesn’t move in quite the same easy manner. It was so much easier to just close my eyes and physically “bull” my way through mud, snow, and slush with feed carts full of TMR across the yard. Now I’m trying to figure out if there might be a better (i.e. easier) way to get these jobs done.
Through their college experiences and tours, the kids are also seeing different ways of doing similar jobs around home. They are starting to ask the same questions they did when they were little…”Why?” It is a very innocent question but a very annoying question when you don’t have a solid answer except for “because that’s how we do it.” When they were little and followed Mark around the farm, they constantly peppered him with questions about what he was doing. We were joyful in their curious nature and genuine interest the family farm. Today we are thrilled and yet apprehensive with their new rounds of questions. We are excited as they continue to show an interest in the future of our operation and nervous because we no longer are the only ones with all the answers and experiences.
As the cold winter weather drags on outside, the sound of silence will echo throughout our empty house. Yes, Austin is still home with us when he isn’t running around with FFA events, but do you know very many 17 year old boys who share? I rest my case. It is just Mark and I in an empty nest contemplating the questions for the next phase of our life on the farm. It feels like our kids are growing up before we are ready to answer the next round of questions. At least the sound of silence will serve as a reminder that we need to start finding answers to the hard questions coming our way.
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As their four children pursue dairy careers off the family farm, Natalie and Mark are starting a new adventure of milking registered Holsteins just because they like good cows on their farm north of Rice, Minnesota.
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