The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
Have you ever been in a season where you obeyed God, but nothing happened right away? Maybe they were decisions that made you seem foolish or crazy. Everyone thought Noah was too, until it began to rain. In those moments I always wondered why God couldn’t just make it easier on me.
He had the power to do so, but I would have never grown my faith and relationship with Him or learned to lean on Him. Pride would have crept in, thinking it was all my own doing. Eventually that would have left me feeling empty and miserable. If God cares about the little, seemingly meaningless details, this new breast cancer journey won’t be any different for Him. He always has a plan and still performs miracles today.
I’m thankful for those hard times because He was refining me. Now I get excited when the storms hit, knowing God is up to something and I can trust Him. It’s so exciting watching Him work in the good and the bad. 2020 was my second year farming full time with about 250 acres. We’d had an early planting and nearly ideal growing conditions all season. Input prices were very low back then and I was pretty optimistic heading into harvest.
I grew up riding dirt bikes and always enjoyed them. Back in 2013, Becks Hybrids came out with testimonial videos on YouTube called “Why I farm.” They were all very powerful and inspired my faith and dreams. I watched all of their videos over and over again throughout the years, even though I was just working at Pioneer. God was speaking right through them. I still had a strong passion for farming, ever since I was a little kid. Even though I didn’t think I’d ever be able too, I couldn’t get enough of it.
These videos inspired me and gave me hope. One was actually a local farmer, Steve Sowers. He talked about starting each day out by spending time with God and reading his devotional. God spoke through him to inspire me to do the same thing shortly after. It was something I’d never really thought much about as I was very new with my relationship with God. He also ended the video saying “if you love something, that’s what you ought to be doing.” That always stuck with me.
Another video in particular was the CEO of the company and talked about his Honda dirt bike that he scouted crops with. Fast forward to 2020 and I’d been wanting a dirt bike to scout crops with. God used those videos in many different ways as time went on. Walking fields and seeing the crops growing all season was always one of my favorite things to do. Before harvest, God laid on my heart to buy a used dirt bike afterwards, no matter what the finances looked like.
I didn’t start out with much money at all. The only explanation for making all of this possible and the growth is God. Nothing I’ve done or because the money was always there, because it wasn’t. I had some record yields that fall and couldn’t wait to see how things turned out. Grain prices were still pretty low and barely had $4000 left over after paying off my debts.
Isaiah 55:8–9 says “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
For many years God had laid on my heart to tithe or help others when He spoke. After giving I only had about $2500 left. I also just closed on my first 100 acre farm that November. God spoke very clearly to go ahead and start looking for a dirt bike anyways. I found the perfect one down in southern Illinois. It was used but only had 30 hours on it. It came from an old man that was an auctioneer and had been sitting in the garage most of its life.
It looked brand new and I was able to buy it for $2300. This left me with $200 for gas and living expenses until the new season began. On my long drive home that night, fear crept in. The enemy was telling me I wasn’t listening to God and my career would be over soon. I didn’t have any money, I’d just bought a farm and needed a bigger tractor to pull my new 16 row planter I’d felt led to buy in the spring and grain cart to get across the creek on this new farm.
God was telling me to trust Him though and He had a plan for all of this. It wasn’t about the money or upgrading equipment, but for a greater purpose and leaving no other explanation than Him. A few weeks later God began to work. That waiting was hard as ever and I was losing sleep over and sick to my stomach. I remember riding that dirt bike around my farm praying and crying out to God.
In December I ended up getting a random check for over $40,000. I knew God was behind it. He told me to take another leap of faith and buy a bigger tractor. I found one that He had laid on my heart. The farmer was retiring and sold it at a price I could afford. My banker had a low interest rate for equipment special going on with 2.9 percent interest.
Shortly after I began looking for grain carts. I had no idea what I really needed for the future and had to let God lead those decisions. I found a Kinze 1050 out in central Iowa for $35,000. It was a 2005 model and I was going to pay cash for it. A day before looking at it, the guy called and it had sold. I was devastated. But then he said he had a Killbros 1950, that was only 5 years old and looked new.
He didn’t give me a price and I drove out there that next day. I looked it over and felt God saying to buy it. It was an 1100 bushel cart and my new 8420 could pull it with no problem. When I asked how much, he said $17,500. I pulled out my check book immediately and drove home thanking God and apologizing for worrying so much that fall.
Even after God settled that worry and doubt that had crept in. I wondered how I’d ever be able to keep buying farms, renting ground and upgrading equipment when God told me too. In 2021 I was able to buy another farm and continue to add needed equipment for the future and grow the operation. I remember people saying I was trying to keep up with the neighbors and it would never work out.
That bothered me in the beginning because it wasn’t the truth. He taught me to only focus on what He says about me though, so there was some good that came out of it. This would be crucial for moving forward. God was leading the way and guiding every little detail and decision. Now all of my harvest equipment is paid for, He continues to grow the operation and add to the testimony.
It’s not about that though, I could lose everything tomorrow, but God is still good and has a plan and purpose for each and every single one of us. I didn’t always have that perspective. Now my hope and identity is in Him alone and it’s important to keep our eyes on things of eternal value. I didn’t start this operation for the land, money, equipment, career or anything else. God told me to start it so He could use it as a platform the spread the gospel and help others. All it took was that first leap of faith and letting Him take care of the details.
It definitely hasn’t been an easy ride. Yes, God has done so many miraculous things and has guided every step of the way. But it has been full of constant attacks from the devil and many hard circumstances. For years, even though I was walking with God and talking to Him about everything, I struggled hard mentally and was always worried sick during the storms. I didn’t have much peace until recently and that was all Him.
God has used every single one of those situations to grow my faith, refine me and give others hope. He’s finally given me a peace in the area of farming. I still have my hard days outside of that with new circumstances and that will be a never ending process until He calls us home. The peace He gives me now, doesn’t make sense without Him. That same peace and joy is available to anyone. There’s nothing special about me.
Looking back now, I can see it clearly, it was the Holy Spirit every step of the way. The same Spirit that whispered “trust Me” when fear was the loudest. The same Spirit that gave peace when the numbers didn’t add up, that met me in tractor cabs and dirt bike rides through the field when I was praying with tears in my eyes. It wasn’t because I was doing the right things, it’s because He loves us and promises to walk with us every step of the way.
That peace didn’t come from circumstances turning out right, it came from surrender. I didn’t earn it and I can’t take credit for any of this. The Holy Spirit leads, comforts, convicts and provides in ways that leave no explanation but God.
If He can guide a scared, broken, first generation farmer with nothing but faith and obedience, He can do the same for anyone willing to listen. He brought me out of darkest times where I saw no way out, drug and alcohol addiction, along with many other issues, to a new creation in Christ. That has been the biggest miracle of all.
My story isn’t about how to start farming, an easy life, success, money, dirt bikes, land or equipment, it’s about a faithful and loving God. The power of the Holy Spirit is still alive, speaking and changing lives today!