The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.



Beyond The Picket Fence

-by Sherryanne De La Boise

My hair has reached that point where I must decide if it shall once again be long. Shall I dream of rivalling Rapunzel? Or go for the cute bob?

It was really long when we were visiting the Wig Men of Papua New Guinea (the awkward bird shaped island, just bigger than California, situated right above Australia). My straight blonde hair had several years of growth, which with my traditional build and my age made me very unusual, in that part of the world.

Most white women are either wealthy scrawny Australian tourists who dress in boxy mannish attire with short cropped hair, or, they are there on a humanitarian mission. Young, thin French Médecins Sans Frontières who scared me with their stories of the machete wounds so common to PNG. Seems if a husband wants to enforce conjugal rights, and if the wife does not, it is not uncommon for him to swing his machete. The dowry does not have to be returned.

But, if said husband sends his non-performing wife packing, then he must refund the dowry.

The dowry includes both money and pigs. The whole world over, pigs are not unusual in festivals and weddings. What would a Hawaiian luau be without the Kalua Pig?

Lest you think this is a Pacific islander tradition, a shy friend did not find a wife in college, so his parents sent him to the matchmaker, who set him up with a very hardworking, good personality wife from a village similar to the one of his family. He, his parents, and other relatives flew to China for the wedding, where he was surprised to learn he was expected to buy three pigs for the wedding feast. Pigs bring wealth and luck. They are the Chinese zodiac sign of 1935, ‘47,'59,'71,'83,'95, ‘07, and 2019.

In Europe, not everyone had access to silver and gold coins. So, they bartered. It can be argued that pigs became money, which would lead to the religious prohibition of eating them. We moderns think the translation to "unclean" was because of disease, but it may actually have been because those animals without cloven hooves (horses and pigs) had monetary value.

It should not have surprised me when the Wig Men offered me money and pigs for my hair. Remember that until very recently, these folks thought they were the only humans on the planet. They had their own languages and educational systems. At high school age, boys were sent for 18 months to Wig School, so called because they grew they hair, uncombed for the 18 months. After they had mastered the lessons of the school, which centered upon the rites and rituals, as well as construction and agriculture; their head was shaved. The hair was boiled into a hat that they would decorate and wear proudly for the remainder of their lives.

If the graduate decided to do an advanced degree (a very prestigious honor), he would return to the Wig School for another 18 months.

Again, the hair was grown, shaved and boiled into a second cap, attached inverted to the first. With the feathers and trim attached, the black hats look like Admiral's hats. With bright red and yellow face paint, they make very fierce looking warriors.

On the eastern edge of Papua New Guinea, the people have kinky blonde hair and blue eyes. Not from any Europeans, as proven by DNA studies. Darwin would say that this proves that we natural blondes are a higher evolution. Very few of the men from the eastern edge attend Wig School, so to have a blonde Admiral hat is extremely desirable.

Hence, my extremely long, many years of growth blonde hair was the delight and subject of many conversations. Upon arrival, I was the only one in the group assigned a personal body guard (equipped with an automatic rifle and a machete). He slept on the ground outside of whatever hut I slept within. Bullets would easily pierce the woven walls. If someone fired, should I roll out of bed to the ground?

It all seemed rather absurd until I learned that the last group of scientists there had been stripped naked and made to march themselves back to civilization. They could have my clothes, but would have to fight me for my bra. It's hard to find good fitting support.

The negotiations started at 950 Kina (about $350 after all, my hair is not tinted or permed). They offered 300 Kina. Not interested.

They offered "300 Kina and pig." I countered with 900 Kina.

They offered "300 Kina and GIRL pig" knowing full well that I could not take a pig onto an airplane. Negotiations broke down soon after and I kept my hair (much to my husband's relief, as he thought I was going to be scalped).

Anytime we went to any type of school (Catholic), I made sure my hair was down and I was seated so that little fingers could touch it. Touching another person's hair is taboo, but stringy blonde hair is soo different from kinky black hair.

So, maybe I will let it grow again…..