The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
by Dessa Rodeffer, Quill Publisher
"We amaze each other!" the former La Harpe school teacher explains of her 35 years of togetherness with husband Jeff.
Jackie wrote on her social media page this week, "There are some real pearls in here, for those wondering how this has been possible."
Jackie, who has done everything from coaching, teaching school, modeling high fashion clothing, to cleaning homes writes:
"I'm amazed that he can't tell when his food is done by looking at it in the oven, yet with a keen sense determine whether it is or not by looking at it on his plate.
"He is amazed by my ability to make a 3-point turn, using 6 or more.
"We know we will never agree on some things. Jeff has always thought Jim Morrison was a great artist and poet...I believe him to have been an untalented buffoon.
"I apologize in advance to all of the devout Doors and Morrison fans. I don't like the Beatles either...so what do I know.
"We have learned to deal with each other's quirks. I know that when he gets a Gatorade, he is going to drive me crazy tapping the lid on and off it a zillion times in the process of drinking it.
"He knows to expect that I may put Vick's in my nose at bed time and suck on a cough drop. He finds both of those off putting...but I come from a long line of family that uses Vick's in their nose.
"He is the ying to my yang.
"He orders something different at a restaurant every time...I order the same thing.
"When we have done anthems at church together, he likes to jam...I want him to write out what we're doing.
"He has given up keeping worms in the refrigerator, a long standing tradition in his family that repulsed and scared me the first time I encountered the worms instead of the butter pictured on the container.
"I don't bring up every inane thing that comes into my head like, "why do men only carry black umbrellas...if they carry one at all.'
"I have many of these thoughts, but he prefers not to engage in all of them.
"We have seen a lot of things in our time together. Young people don't get what it was like to have to pay $300 plus phone bills each month to talk to each other.
"They wouldn't get having to turn the TV off after the late night viewing of "A Christmas Carol' because the TV turned to static afterwards.
"But everyone can understand this. It's the small things that matter.
"I came home to a snowman Jeff built one time, that held a sign saying "I Love You'.
"I love to hear his voice... I'm not talking about singing. I love the way he says the word "before'.
"I love the way we have conversations quoting movies, and how we are much like a Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid at times. He likes to tell me, "keep thinking Butch' , all the time.
"I love that he needed me to see the ocean...so he took me; and we stopped along the way to collect some "red dirt' in Kentucky, like my grandma always spoke of.
"I love that he got me to fly... which I am terrified of, by bribing me with Laker's tickets.
"I love that we can have so much fun spending no money...hiking with our kids. (They have no children but their kids are 3 professional disc dogs they rescued and trained.)
Jackie said one of her clients had said her mother was pretty wise in telling her that it is the "nits' that can end a marriage. The small things that lead to big things.
But Jackie put a twist on it and feels that small things make big things to love about one another.
"We have never spoke of this," Jackie wrote, "but you know what's a good sign? "I know that when we eat supper tonight, there will be a few potatoes left over, because we each will want to make sure the other one has had their fill of them...not wanting to deprive each other if we were still hungry. It's a good feeling for me to see that."
Jackie reminds us, that we are all independent thinkers, with opinions and habits that differ. But, we can learn to appreciate the differences and look for the gems in each other, and let the other one know what a unique person they are.
We celebrate annually the anniveraries, birthdays and special occasions, but the everyday relationships are where the challenges are and Jackie points out how they can actually be the icing on the cake.
The pandemic has forced families to work and play together and get to know each other again.
It has taught families to check more often on their parents and grandparents, and their neighbors and to help each other out.
It has especially taught us not to take tomorrow for granted, for we just never know when that family member, neighbor, or friend may no longer be with us.
Squabbling over the little things is frivolous and pointless, but learning to see the good and uniqne qualities in a person builds good feelings and from that a caring attitude that brings out the best in the other.
For both Jackie and I, we both lost our fathers all too quickly. My parents didn't wait to celebrate their 50th but we had a big family celebration on their 35th in June. and they vacationed in Florida and Georgia and loved it. The following May when I was 26, my father died of an unexpected heart attack after 8th grade graduation in Media. Jackie lost her dad Dick Rodeffer, when she was in her late 30s.
So many deaths with COVID-19 along with heart attacks, cancer etc., one just never knows.
Valentines Day will soon be here, but don't you wait. Make this the day you tell each family member you love them. Then celebrate each other every day.