The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
by Sherryanne De La Boise
Fact: it is colder today in Illinois than on the North Pole. It is 1 here and 3 there. In August 2015, it was 23 and very wet. The North Pole is not snowbound land, but a vast ocean with a Russian flag planted firmly into it's floor. Putin has declared that the entire Arctic Ocean (and many of its islands) belong to the Russian Federation. I have a problem with that, as well as with Canada claiming to own all those islands. Had a lively, very public disagreement with a former Prime Minister of Canada about that very topic while we were attempting to be the first tourists to travel the NorthWest passage (and got stuck in ice, another article)
I happened to have scored a vacation to the North Pole by promising my husband that I would never, ever do any remodeling of the kitchen.
The price of which equaled the cost of a trip for two to the North Pole, if one of them was working on said trip.
Marriage is a package deal: You take the good with the bad. I got a truly wonderful man and a 1940's house with seven additions. All made prior to his purchase in 1973, including a kitchen with faux red brick vinyl tile and custom cabinets with matching round table and captain chairs, all in darkest oak.
The walls were paneled with the same dark wood. The low ceiling had boxed beams.
Many of my parents' friends had had this country cabin style in the 1960's. Not my style, but would be just fine in exchange for a week at the North Pole.
So, we flew to Murmansk, Russia. It is an important military and trade port, home of the submarine fleet and many of the Russian nuclear powered icebreakers. Each icebreaker has two full Navy crews that rotate 4 weeks on, 4 weeks off, and summers off. Someone got the bright idea to take one of the ice breakers out of summer storage and using a lot less crew, cart Chinese tourists to the North Pole for $79,000 per person (we paid less). Surprisingly, on our trip, there were 18 Chinese teenagers and one incredibly whiny American princess, whose dad knew how to say in Russian, "How much does that cost?"
His plan to spend time with her, away from her usual distractions, succeeded: She came home from the trip saying,
"I love you to the North Pole and back!"
The nuclear powered icebreaker usually has a lot more crew, for it is a military vessel designed to protect both the northern coast of Russia and escort the trade ships coming from China to Europe and beyond. Putin’s goal is to make his route cheaper than using the Suez or the Panama Canals.
The crew usually quarter above deck, to increase the weight on the bow, for an icebreaker has a round hull that rides up onto the ice. The weight of the vessel causes the ice to crash and crumble apart.
We ride rise up, drop with an explosively loud sound, rise up, crash down, rise up crash down.
We are breaking through ice, trying to get to the path that this vessel created a week ago, which to use would use less fuel and be a smoother ride. The Brits turn the bar into a local pub and sing loudly, as they merrily celebrate the rough ride of ice breaking.
The Chinese are too frugal to drink outside of their rooms. They appear in the bar, because it has the best observation windows, already stumblingly drunk, adding to the merriment. Meanwhile, their teenagers are in the library playing video games and complaining that their parents are too cheap to pay the $19 per minute fee for internet service.
When we reach the North Pole, those teenagers will have to be bribed and dragged down the gangplank, so that they can have their pictures taken, standing on 90N. Amazingly, then they will express total displeasure at all of this and rush back to the windowless library and their games. Ah, middle class teenagers are the same the world over.
The crew has surrendered their cabins to 120 tourists, 10 expedition leaders, and 8 guest lecturers. We are in the Master Chef III's personal cabin. My husband has the Chef's twin mattress bunk on top of a bureau with curtains surrounding the sleeping area. A twin mattress has been added for me, under the porthole, atop of the Chef's desk. A triple room has a bunk suspended from ceiling hooks. It must sway. Glad I’m not sleeping in one of those.
Meanwhile, the crew has tripled up in the below deck cabins with wives and children. They are having a grand time. During ice breaking season, they do not see their men for months on end, as many take the four weeks off to work on a fishing vessel. This is vacation.
The families are swimming in the indoor pool, taking saunas, playing games in the gym and partying, partying, partying.
They are supposed to be hidden from us, but I am a lover of water and sauna and befriend them.
They take four of us on a tour of the engine rooms and the boiler rooms. I see the map of the ship and realize the nuclear core is just behind our quarters. So, when my husband tells me I am glowing and look radiant, I know why.
The Captain has not surrendered his quarters. His beautiful college-aged daughter is travelling with him, along with his second wife and toddler son. He is very careful to keep them apart from us, but I would do the same with my children. Rather than a Captain's dinner, we are invited to have a shot of vodka with him. I bring my stash of emergency chocolates, so we are invited back. I bring my maps of US exploration, so we are invited back. I bring my book on boilers and have a lot of fun comparing what I have seen with what he tells me that is really on the ship. Russians of the North do not trust Americans. Which makes the feeling mutual!
The vessel has a Mi-2 helicopter for surveying icy conditions ahead. My husband is out-of-his-gourd thrilled at seeing the "enemy machine" that was all over Vietnam. And, then we get clearance to ride in one and look at the terrain, polar bears, and seals. Wow!
One reason that explorers, like my relative Donald MacMillan, had such trouble reaching the North Pole was the clockwise current of the Arctic Ocean underneath the ice. Everything makes a complete rotation every 4 years. Where the ice has melted (a shadow or a bird carcass will cause the ice to melt under it) into the size of a pond or lake, put its location on a map, but you will not find it later in the same location. For, unlike lakes that have solid earth under them, lakes above an ocean travel with the current. In a matter of minutes, that current can collapse a lake, or jam ice into mountain high ridges. An explorer reaching the Pole would encounter different terrain on the route home, which meant that they had to leave extra time for the trip home. They would often run out of time just short of the Pole and have to beat it back before the season changed.
But, we are here in August. The sun is shining 23:45 hours per day. It bops below the horizon and starts peaking back up 15 minutes later. There is no dark of night, because of the twilight and pre-dawn illumination. But, we are witness to a very rare full moon.
When we reach the North Pole, I say to the Captain, "Wait, we are surrounded by water. I really was hoping to stand on the North Pole."
"Not a problem Dorogaya Enn (my name thanks to a French tourist who kept calling me Cheri Ann)." With that, he called down to the engine room to rev the engines. The ship went up onto a sheet of ice and before we could crash it, the ship reversed pulling this giant sheet over 90N, the North Pole.
Very, very bad for the environment. But, I was in the moment. I was off that nuclear powered icebreaker and ready to take a polar plunge, then run back into the ship for a warming sauna. They tied ropes round us (in case we panicked) and had a little rubber boat out fitted with a sharp shooter (in case a bear decided to join our swim).
By planting a flag at the North Pole and then walking in a circle around it, about 20 feet away, we actually circumnavigated the Earth and walked through every time zone. Then, I pulled out my Quill and had the Captain stand with me for a "Take the Quill Along" picture.
And now, you know the rest of the story.