The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
-by Sherryanne De La Boise
"Hey Mother. I think Dessa put a picture of you on FaceBook: You know, it's too hot for you to be wearing your fur coat uptown."
"I've not had the opportunity to wear my beautiful long mink coat in a long while. My birthday is coming up. But, Dessa's picture is a of beautiful black bear rambling uptown, not me."
That coat was her 50th Christmas present. Dad and I had conspired to bring Mother's 50th birthday present from New York. We referred to the surprise as "the fur coat," as that woman has big ears and eyes in the back of her head. We thought we had pulled off the perfect gift: I was flying home with her favorite breed of dog, a tiny Cocker Spaniel puppy.
She had rescued her first Cocker Spaniel from a man who was never home. The poor dog was chained all day to a tree. His name was Samson. When soon after we acquired a female, she was appropriately named Delilah. The following year, Delilah surprised us with three puppies: William the Conqueror, Joan of Arc, and Margaret the Fat One (named after Mother).
If Mother was not thrilled at having a dog named after her, she was even less thrilled when the Bachelor Neighbor named his favorite bovine "Margaret the Cow" in admiration of her.
Margaret the Fat One went to reside with the Britt family. That beloved dog piddled on their best carpet, chewed furniture legs, and when the living room curtains were drawn, it was revealed that she had made a series of 14 face level holes in them.
Soon after, Mr. Britt stormed up to the Severe Spinster Secretary of the Bachelor Neighbor (He was an attorney). "Tell your boss that I am suing him for Paternity," he boomed.
The Severe Spinster Secretary, quite shaken up and all a-titter, ran back to her office worried at what the Bachelor Neighbor had done. Mr. Britt was chuckling at the prank he had pulled. He was about to get a most interesting phone call.
For, the Bachelor Neighbor's Great Dane had gotten squat Margaret the Fat One pregnant. She must have stood on the patio furniture. Oooh, this may be too X-rated for the Quill. Let me get back to the 50th birthday.
When I arrived at the airport, there was Mother with perfect salon-styled hair, impeccably painted nails, in a beautiful new dress. Dad and my sisters were in their usual attire. Maybe she had luncheon plans? After all, it was her 50th birthday weekend. No, she had indeed overheard discussions of a "fur coat" and was dressed to wear it to a suspected surprise party.
Oh did her face fall when the Cocker Spaniel puppy appeared. As she later told her friends, "I dressed to receive a special birthday fur coat from New York. When my beautiful "fur coat' appeared, it had legs. And, a tail. And, it barked at me."
That became a very expensive birthday, as Dad had to make fast arrangements for a new fur coat. And since this is the week of her birthday, now you know why there might be more than one black bear wandering around Stronghurst.