The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
Greetings ta ever one in western Illinois and all readers of "The Quill."
I'm a hope'n this letter finds you all in a fine state of affairs.
INS AND OUTS OF FARM'N
It seems know'n the ins and outs of farm'n and hunt'n and fish'n can sure guarantee some pretty good grubs on yer table through-out a person's life. If'n ya roll up yer sleeves and do yer due diligence of steady but reward'n work.
My friend Cornelius Farkwad was a wonderin' just how he could describe what a farmer is ta some folk that is about to visit him from the big city.
Me and the boys gave him plenty ta talk about in the ups and downs of farm'n but I reck'n the best way is ta sit down ta the table and pass around all those mouth water'n rewards that come from a farmer's hard work.
Ya always seem ta find folks hang'n in the kitchen where all the food is prepared and smell'n so good. It's a motivator and why folks do the work - to get the tasty rewards.
Cornelius said, his visitors will be look'n to discover how rural people exist without the amenities such as fixed salary, that are found in the more cultured areas of the big city. He asked me to help him so I'll share again what I told him.
I explained ta Cornelius, that a farmer is a gatherer and a distributor. Nothin' more and nothin' less, by my notion.
Early on the first goal of a hopeful farmer is a gather'n process. In order to be able to farm he must collect certain abstract objects.
The first abstract object is money. Generally speak'n due to the huge volumes of capital necessary to farm, this is no easy job. It's "bout as easy as pick'n fly dung outta' black pepper.
Some has a blood relative that might help with capital needs, others utilize a lender, and a precious few might just have a good friend.
Whatever the source, a potential farmer must first gather much capital (money!). Then he distributes it. All and all to the extent that his abilities maximizes his distribution efforts this will determine his final success with farm'n.
So where does all that money go they might ask?
Some of the distribution goes to land. He might buy land, rent land or some combination of the two.
Anyways, without land he cannot call himself a farmer. That's just as plain as th' nose on yer face.
He also must obtain machinery. Maybe, once again, a relative helps with gettn' some, maybe he leases some, maybe he shares with a neighbor and maybe he uses some combination of all three.
It can be new or used machinery, the choice is a matter of personal preference and limited by the success of his first gathering effort, in collecting capital. Ya want yer equipment ta be good enough ta work but not so great that it takes all yer capital and breaks the bank, so ta speak. Are ya stay'n with me here?
Some fellers get "new paint" disease and choose mostly new equipment. There is an old adage however, that a beginning farmer generally won't have enough capital to buy land, for permanency or new paint, for comfort, all at the same time, unless of course, he comes from a wealthy background.
After this distribution process is over, he has one more conversion process to perform with this first abstract object (capital).
He must now convert the remain'N abstract object (capital) fer livin' expense and farmin' inputs.
Some live high on the hog, allocatin' much to livin' expenses, and cut themselves short for proper crop inputs.
Others live rather frugally the first few years hopin' to collect and gather a little reserve for the distribution process.
It can be said of a farmer generally that he "lives poor and dies rich" or that he has little or no spendin' money but lots of capital items which tie up his capital.
The next distribution effort is rather complex and mysterious. He utilizes his remainder abstract object by convertin' to yet another abstract object. He distributes his capital into seed, fertilizer, chemicals and then, like a hurried chipmunk, he buries it into the ground in a timely fashion.
He then waits in the spring with obedient faith fer the right amount of rain, temperature,weather and lack of hail and damagin' winds. Who else would convert large sums of money to abstract objects and bury it in the ground?
His plan is to come back to where he has buried his converted capital, in a few months, and miraculously find a new converted abstract object, in the form of grain etc.
This, he hopes, will pull his chestnuts out of the fire!
His plan is fer the weather to cooperate to allow him to adequately gather this newly converted abstract object, hopin' somebody will be willin' to give him something fer it in the form of the very first abstract object (money).
Some "walk" the crop off by convertin' it to meat, poultry, or dairy and hope that abstract object will not die.
Who else has more innovative methods for gamblin' than the farmer?
Then, the farmer takes this final conversion (money) and distributes it to those who helped him in the first place.
Some goes to the lender for principal and interest, some goes for machinery payments, some goes for land rent or land payments and some goes fer fuel, crop insurance etc etc.
All in all it is redistributed in a timely fashion to allow the farmer to begin the process all over again, fer another season.
Ta the extent that the farmer is efficient in the distributin' and gatherin' process determines how long he is able to call himself a "farmer".
There is a lot of faith in a farmer's life. Faith fer good weather, faith fer no insect problems, faith fer correct temperatures, etc etc.
Maybe that is why often times farm folk in the past, have had strong religious and moral convictions.
Come ta think of it, a lot of people have faith in farmers ta be good distributors and gatherers to enable them ta provide cheap and abundant food fer our nation.
Cornelius seemed satisfied with this definition for his city folk. I'm a hopin' you are to, in a good humored way.
I read an interesting email recently, sent by a friend entitled "Dark Tidings-A must read for all". It gave me pause for reflection, so I'll pass it along to ya as follows:
"Dark Tidings"
A Chemistry professor in a large college had exchange students in the class.
One day in class, the Professor noticed one young man (exchange student) who kept rubbing his back, and stretching as if his back hurt.
The professor asked the young man what was the matter.
The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back.
He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country who were trying to overthrow his country's government and install a new communist government.
In the midst of his story he looked at the professor and asked a strange question.
He asked, "Do you know how to catch wild pigs?"
The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line. The young man said, this was no joke?"
How Ta Catch Wild Pigs
"You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground.
The pigs find it and begin to come everyday to eat the free corn.
When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming.
When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence.
They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side.
The pigs, who are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat; you slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd.
Suddenly, the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught.
Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity".
The young man then told the professor, "That is exactly what he sees happening in America".
The government keeps pushing us toward socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops, welfare, medicine, drugs, etc. while we continually lose our freedoms...just a little at a time.
One should always remember: There is no such thing as a free lunch!
Also, a politician will never provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself, you see that all of this wonderful government "help' is a problem confronting the future of democracy in America; you might want to send this on to your friends.
If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life, then you will probably delete this email, but God help you when the gate slams shut!
In this "very important' election year, listen closely to what the candidates are promising you - just maybe you will be able to tell who is about to slam the gate on America.
"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have."
-Thomas Jefferson
Well, that's it fer this week. Hope'n ta see ya in church this weekend.
Remember, where ever ya is, what ever ya be a do'n,
BE A GOOD ONE!
Keep on smile'n,
Catch ya later,
BARNYARD BRUKE