The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
Greetings ta ever one in western Illinois and all readers of "The Quill."
Field Work
The boys have been workin' steady in the fields this week bringin' in that early April plantin'. They were as excited as if it were Christmas ta finally be gett'n that grain into the wagons and truck'n it off to the bins.
Cornelius Farkwad said several farmers are comparin' some of the harvest ta last year's crop and said it is look'n about the same average in their fields, but who's count'in bushels, they laughed!
They are feel'n pretty lucky so fer that their corn and beans have dried as much as they have since it has been pounded with rain extra plenty this Spring.
They said a few of the men at the coffee shop still had fields too wet and they tried ta harvest, but need a little more time. They are hope'n by the weekend or next week ta begin their harvest'n.
Wet spots are causin' farmers ta be extra watchful and careful as they hope ta avoid gettin' stuck.
Before the last spell of rain, a few neighbors opened up their fields ta get a good look at the conditions as it looked pretty good around the edges of their fields.
It kinda looked like hopscotch as they were goin' from field ta field find'in a dry one here and a a wet one there.
The good Lord has blessed us once again. Now it's up ta us ta keep our machines in good work'n order, and ta be watchful ta avoid injuries and accidents as we hurry in the fields and on the roads.
New Preamble to the Constitution
The following has been attributed to Lewis Napper, a Jackson, Mississippi computer programmer. His essay-a tart 10-point list of "rights" Americans don't have:"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great- grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a:
Bill of Non-Rights
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of dummies, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you get the blue juice.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure..
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you came from, English is our language. Learn it! Lastly.
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage.
This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution.
The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, sorry if you are uncomfortable with it.
Well, that's it fer this week. Hope'n ta see ya in church.
Remember, where ever ya is, what ever ya be a do'n,
BE A GOOD ONE!
Keep on smile'n,
Catch ya later,
BARNYARD BRUKE