The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

The Wisdom of Barnyard Bruke: Separations, Darwin Awards

Greetings ta ever one in western Illinois and all readers of "The Quill".

Let's hope ever one had a good 4th of July holiday and took time ta appreciate this great country of ours.

Separations

There is much ta do over family separations on our southern border. In fact a pulpit supply minister at an area church advocated ta the congregation in her June 24th Sunday service ta address the problem by write'n responses ta the government, and even gave an outline on how ta do it.

Thousands of parents and their minor children are separated in this country every day by our criminal justice system. What was happen'n at our border is routine.

The blame fer these separations is misplaced. The separation of the illegal immigrant parents from their children isn't the fault of the United Sates government, HHS, President Trump, DHS, Congress or US taxpayers.

The fault goes directly ta those untrustworthy parents haul'n their children away from their homeland. It is very much a description of child cruelty ta force these small folk across unfriendly and dangerous borders fer their parents own selfish gain.

As fer the separation of law break'n parents from their minor children in our justice system it is not uncommon fer criminal defendants ta bring their minor children ta court with "em fer bail hearings, revocation of bail hearings, revocation of probation hearings and sentencing hearings. They seem ta think that the presence of children will influence the judge. These thoughts are misguided.

An example of this procedure is Paul Manafort recently, when a criminal defendant is denied bail, has their bail revoked, has their probation revoked, or is sentenced ta prison, they will be taken into custody. The children cannot accompany the defendant ta prison, resulting in separation of their children.

When a family member or some other guardian isn't present ta take the children, the children will be taken by a state agency. That agency is required ta care fer the children in isolation from their criminal parents.

Parents and or drug cartel members enter'n the United States illegally is a crime. Those adults are taken into custody by law enforcement folk fer the crime of illegally enter'n the United States. That parent will be separated from their minor children, just like any other criminal in our justice system.

Separation of criminal parents from their children has been go'n on fer a long, long, time in the criminal justice system. While there are no exceptions fer any other crime, the question becomes why should there be an exception fer non-citizens who are arrested fer the crime of illegally enter'n the United States?

Neither political party seems ta want ta fix our nations lack of coherent immigration laws. They clearly want ta use this mess ta beat each other up with every election year.

In Burlington, IA recently a single mother was arrested and confined ta jail fer leav'n her three children in their apartment fer a short while, fer her ta do twenty minutes of shop'n. Separation immediately.

In another instance a single mother stepped out of her car briefly ta put a paid bill in the post office by certified mail. Her children were in the car only briefly but she was turned in! Separation resulted!

A parent was caught drunk drive'n with children in the back seat. That parent was placed under arrest result'n in child separation.

A parent spanked her child fer be'n rowdy and destructive in a grocery store. She was turned in, result'n in separation.

This list can go on and on without be'n paid much attention from the pulpit unless, of course, ya are an illegal non-citizen criminal.

Darwin Awards

The 2017 Darwin Awards are out. Here is the glorious winner:

When his.38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

The honorable mentions:

• The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
• A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
• After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
• An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he hit.
• A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer- $15.
• Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be-thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
• As a female shopper left a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
• The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 a.m., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The frustrated gunman walked away.

(*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER)

*When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.

A police spokesman said that man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!

Well, betwixt the topic of "Separation" and "Darwin Awards", there oughta be plenty fer the boys ta discuss fer the rest of the week as they are recover'n from their 4th of July celebrations.

Have a good rest of the week. Hope'n ta see youn's in church this week with thankful hearts for all that God has blessed this country with.

Remember, wherever ya are, whatever ya be a do'n, "BE A GOOD ONE!"

Keep on Smile'n

Catch ya later

Barnyard Bruke