The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
Greetings ta ever one in western Illinois and all readers of "The Quill."
Best wishes to the recent high school graduates. Seek and apply wisdom, common sense, and good judgement ta your lives and watch what happens. It is far the best!
Hard Press And Hit'n Hard
A lot of fellers put the hard press on their remain'n corn ta be planted with this last dry spell. Those that have soybeans ta plant are a hit'n it pretty hard also.
Almost A Bad One
Drive'n down route 34 the other day I and the tractor and planter ahead of me, was almost run over by a semi loaded with fat hogs go'n to market. The tractor and planter, as well as my vehicle, had flash'n lights ta turn left. The semi passed in a no pass'n zone on a hill go'n pall mall.
Well, only the founder'r will know. For sure how all three drivers reacted. It was within a split hair of be'n a bad one. Hogs, tractor and planter, auto, and all three drivers would have had a wasted day and even more. My advice-drive defensively! That was the only thing that saved the day.
I was sent "Oxymorons" and "Why and Because" from two separate readers. I'll share them fer food for thought:
Oxymorons
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas-what other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
With that "food fer thought" the follow'n is "why and because":
Why And Because
1. Why?
Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left?
Because
When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right! And that's where women's buttons have remained since.
2. Why?
Why do ships and aircraft use "mayday' as their call for help?
Because
This comes from the French word m'aidez, meaning "help me", and is pronounced, approximately, "mayday.'
3. Why?
Why are zero scores in tennis called "love'?
Because
In France, where tennis became popular, the round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg and was called "I'oeuf,' which is French for "the egg'. When tennis was introduced in the U.S., Americans (naturally), mispronounced it "love.'
4. Why?
Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses?
Because
In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document.The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.
5. Why?
Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called passing the buck?
Because
In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing, he would "pass the buck' to the next players.
6. Why?
Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?
Because
In earlier times it used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would only touch or clink the host's glass with his own.
7. Why?
Why are people in the public eye said to be "in the limelight'?
Because
Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and theaters by during a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theatre, a performer "in the limelight' was the centre of attention.
8. Why?
Why is someone who is feeling great "on cloud nine'?
Because
Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud. If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.
9. Why?
In golf, where did the term "Caddie' come from?
Because
When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl, Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scots game "golf.' He had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when she returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced "Ca-day' and Scots changed it into caddie.
10. Why?
Why are many coin collection jar banks shaped like pigs?
Because
Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of dense orange clay call "pygg'. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as "pygg banks.' When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on.
There, ya have it then, just as I received "em. Me and the boys have had some good "jaw'n" session with both "The Food for Thought" and "Why and Because."
I'm a hope'n you enjoyed read'n "em as well. Many thousand thanks ta both contributors.
Have a safe week and hope'n ta see ya in church again this week. We have much ta be thankful for.
Remember, wherever ya are, whatever ya be a do'n "BE A GOOD ONE!"
Keep on Smile'n
Catch ya later
Barnyard Bruke