The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke: Spring Forward-Dedication to Farmer-Bill of Non-Rights

Greetings ta ever one in western Illinois and all readers of "The Quill."

I'm a hope'n ever one is enjoy'n this spring like weather we has been a have'n despite the big thunderstorm that went through these parts Monday night.

Don't get too excited about plant'n any garden yet fer we still may have some hard weather again later in March as we had Monday night that knocked out some people's electricity and did some strong wind damage. Also, there is some predicitions of snow!


Don't fer get ta "spring" yer clock forward one hour next Saturday or you'll mess up yer church attendance at yer intended hour.


Staff in the Ag Department of Western Illinois University are remember'n a good farmer over in Henderson County who passed away last August. They are dedicat'n their 45th Performance Tested Bull Sale to be held this Friday evening to the late Dr. Kenneth Nimrick of Stronghurst. He was a professor at WIU and his important work will continue on. The dedication sure is a kind reminder of a humble farmer and his many good works for agricutlure and the farmer.

Bill of Non Rights

The follow'n has been attributed ta Lewis Napper, a Jackson, Mississippi computer programmer. He probably didn't expect his essay..a tart 11-point list of "rights" Americans don't have--ta become so widespread. Here it is:

New Preamble To The Constitution

We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights: and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.

Article I:

You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

Article II:

You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, change the channel, express a different opinion, etc.: but the world is full of dummies, and probably always will be.

Article III:

You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

Article IV:

You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

Article V:

You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

Article VI:

You do not have the right to physically harm other people. if you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you get the blue juice.

Article VII:

You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

Article VIII:

You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

Article IX:

You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

Article X:

This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you came from, English is our language. Learn it!


Article XI:

You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, sorry if you are uncomfortable with it.

If you agree, share this with a friend.

No you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about time common sense is allowed to flourish.

Sensible people of the United States must speak out because if you do not, who will?

Well, there ya have it then, a somewhat different way of look'n at things.

I reckon me and the "boys" will dwell on those thoughts fer a spell and see what we come up with.

Hope'n ta see you'ns in church this week and: "on time."

Remember: Wherever ya are, whatever ya be a do'n, "BE A GOOD ONE!"

Keep on Smile'n

Catch ya later

Barnyard Bruke