The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke: Fix The Problem, A Great Country, Really Works, Great Truths

Greetings ta ever one in western Illinois and all readers of "The Quill."

There are some mushrooms be'n found around these parts, so ya better get your walk'n shoes on and head for the woods.

Fix The Problem

An Oquawka couple, Leonard Anderson and his wife, Carolyn Anderson, were killed Wednesday night, April 5th as a result of injuries received from an accident on west bound US 34 under the Lincoln Park Drive bridge. A flatbed trailer dislodged its load whilst travel'n under a bridge around Galesburg and the fall'n equipment struck the Anderson's vehicle.

How many lives need ta be lost and how many accidents need ta happen before the Illinois Department too Transportation (IDOT) decides ta fix the problem? Two bridges around Galesburg Lincoln Park Drive and Knox Road 500E are common targets with expensive repairs on the outside beams be'n replaced numerous times.

The possible solution seems rather simple and relatively inexpensive when compared ta loss of life. Simply place a laser beam on poles directed across the highway at the same height as the bridges a specific distance before the bridges. If'n your load is high enough ta strike the laser beam an alarm would be triggered with flash'n lights and perhaps loud siren noise at that spot as well as placed on the bridge itself face'n on go'n traffic. This seems so simple, it seems unforgivable IDOT has not implemented it. Time has passed, costing lives of two precious folk, ta get this job done. Get with it IDOT and congressmen and congresswomen ta see that those folk at IDOT do the right thing in a timely manner.

In the subject of enterst'n facts and calculations of government in progress:

A Great Country

Convicted Congressman, Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-IL), is scheduled to receive $8,700 per month in government disability pay as well as a partial federal pension of $45,000.

That generous $8,700 in disability comes thanks to Jackson's sudden development of a "mood disorder" as the federal government began looking to indict him. Jackson, who was sentenced to 2.5 years in prison, had no history of mental illness during his prior 17 years in Congress.

Rev. Jesse Jackson has defended his son's claims of mental illness, stating to the court, "This time a year ago I thought we may have lost him."

So, Jesse Jackson, Jr. 17-year veteran of the U. S. Congress, suddenly get a "mood disorder" (about the same time he learned he was to be indicted) and is going to prison for 2.5 years.

Because his "mood disorder" was so severe, he has become disabled and will receive $8,700 per month as a disability payment as well as $45,000 a year from his congressional pension, a total of about $150K per year.

Is this a great country or what?

Now fer a few chuckles in the non-serious category from a farmer with lots of experience:

Really Works?

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers, simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough.

6. You need only two tools in life, WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Thought for the day: Some people are like slinks, not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when they're pushed down the stairs.

Some additional advice: Never, under any circumstances, take a laxative and sleeping pills on the same night.

Number 3 doesn't work.. but the nurse is friendly though.

Ta add a chuckle from an elderly reader here are some "Great Truths" he submitted that adults have learned:

Great Truths

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jello to a tree.

2. Wrinkles don't hurt.

3. Families are like fudge..mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4. Today's might oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

Great Truths About Growing Old:

1. Growing old is mandatory: growing up is optional.

2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a coaster.

5. It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

6. Time may be a great healer, but its' a lousy beautician.

7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


At age 4 success is..Not piddling in your pants.

At age 12 success is..Having friends.

At age 17 success is..Having a driver's license.

At age 35 success is..Having money.

At age 50 success is..Having money

At age 70 success is..Having a driver's license.

At age 75 success is..Having friends.

At age 80 success is.,.Not piddling in your pants.

Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

Have a wonderful day with many "smiles."

There ya have it then, that's all for this week's column. Many thousand thanks to those who submitted contributions in the interest of better western Illinois communities.

Hope'n ta see you'n in church this week.

Remember: Wherever ya are, whatever ya be a do'n, "BE A GOOD ONE!"

Keep on Smile'n

Catch ya later

Barnyard Bruke