The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke: Harvest Season Is Near, Vacuum Salesman, How Wonderfully British

Greetings ta ever one in western Illinois and all readers of "The Quill."

We sure enough had us a good Labor Day weekend, weather wise, that is. It was a good relief ta have lower, more tolerable humidity combined with cooler temperatures. Have'n no rain fer the picnics and celebration helped a great deal as well.

Harvest Season Is Near

Soybeans are a turn'n ta maturity here and there, with a few fields of early mature'n varieties have'n lost most of their leaves.

Corn is mature'n rapidly also, with some early varieties that were planted in April test'n 28% moisture and below. There will likely be harvesting in those fields this week or next.

Here we are into the fall harvest season already and we have much ta be thankful fer.

Those fellers in Southern Illinois that have started harvest'n are report'n corn yields of around 220 bushels per acre. That seems very good by "old timer" standards but those farmers in Southern Illinois report 220 bushel per acre to be lower than the last two years average yields were grown.

With record rains this summer, some feel a lot of nitrogen fertilizer was lost. That combined with warmer nights in July and August, which limited plant transportation somewhat, there is some question'n if'n overall yields can set a new record fer the United States. Of course, individual fields may do very well, non-the-less.

Time will tell. The proof in the putt'n will be what goes over the scales, not necessarily what USDA quesstimates report.

Vacuum Salesman

Did ya hear of the little ole lady north of town who answered a knock on her door one day ta be confronted by a well-dressed young man carry'n a vacuum cleaner?

"Good morn'n" the young feller greeted her. If'n I could have a few minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest and best in high-powered, vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the frustrated old lady in as polite a tone as she could muster up. "I haven't got any money fer such things and besides my sweeper is do'n fer me quite an adequate job. She then proceeded to close her door.

Quick as a flash, the young man, well trained in persistant salesmanship, wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until ya have at least seen my demonstration. I'm sure I can convince ya ta make every effort and gather together enough resources ta buy my high-powered vacuum cleaner!"

With that be'n said, he rapidly emptied a bucket of horse manure on ta her front doorway carpet.

If'n this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet ma'am, I will personally eat all the remainder.

The petite elderly lady stepped back and with firmness in her voice said, "Well, I hope you've got a good appetite because they cut off my electricity this morn'n."

Well, so much fer that as a life experience.

How Wonderfully British

In a train from London to Manchester, a California liberal was berat'n the ole' Englishman sitti'n across from her in the compartment about Britain leave'n Europe in the E.U.

"The trouble with you English is that you are too stuffy. Ya set yourselves apart too much and it is gonna be worse now fer ya, as ya leave the E.U. Ya think your stiff upper lip makes ya above the rest of us!"

"Look at me. I'm an all round me! I have a little Italian in me, a bit of Greek blood, a little Irish and some Spanish blood. What do ya say ta that?"

The Englishman lowered his newspaper, looks over his glasses and replied, "How terribly sporting of your mother!"

There ya have it then, a little humor to hopefully cheer up your week a bit.

Have a good rest of the week. Save time ta visit friends, neighbors, and ya relatives.

We have much ta be thankful fer!

Hope'n ta see ya in church this week.

Remember Wherever Ya are, Whatever ya be a do'n, "BE A GOOD ONE!"

Keep on Smile'n

Catch a later

Barnyard Bruke