The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
Greetings ta ever one in western Illinois and all readers of "The Quill."
Here it is, the full moon again in December, last Tuesday. It's a bit colder than last month's full moon.
Winter begins next Wednesday the 21st. I'm shore enough ready fer it ta begin fer it signals the beginn' of longer daylight hours. These short daylight hours we've been a have'n makes it hard ta get all the chores done whilst ya can still see.
Maybe some of you non-livestock fellers has forgot the extra chores winter brings on. Keep'n drink'n waters thawed out, livestock fed and bedded down, and treat'n animals for winter sickness, chews up a lot of short time daylight.
With the weather change'n so dramatically from warm to very cold and back again brings on health problems to cattle, hogs, and man kind alike.
It seems in very cold weather if'n anything can go wrong, it will. Tractors won't start, machinery breaks down, and when you yourself get the flu "er a cold yer enthusiasm is dampered severely.
Now, I ain't a complain'n, mind ya. I'm only remind'n you "grain farmers" and "snow birds" all the "Fun" what ya is miss'n out on!
Department of Errors & Corrections
Me and the boys has noticed a lot of negative comments on Mr. Trump lately in spite of or because of him be'n President elect.
Well, one of the Florida boys reminded me that from Kennedy thru Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, two Bushes, and Obama, the U.S. has been try'n ta assassinate Fidel Castro. If'n the math is correct that has been over 57 years of frustrated failure.
Trump is elected, and Fidel is dead in three weeks. Ahead of schedule and under budget! Put that in yer pipe and smoke it.
I Love Gett'n Older
Dessa reminded me that this column could use a little more humor now and again.
Well, a good friend from Florida reminded me of the Trump-Castro timeline, shared the follow'n information on gett'n older fer the benefit of this column's readers:
1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.
2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.
3.How to prepare Tofu:
a. Throw it in the trash
b. Grill some meat
4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
5. I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
9.Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.
10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.
11. I love being over 70. I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.
12. A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.
13. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
14. November 6, 2016 will be the end of daylight Savings Time. Hope you don't forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night.
15. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Now, how about some Barnyard Wisdom to finish off this week's column:
That's enough wisdom fer this week's column. Have a good rest of the week.
Hope'n ta see ya in church this week.
Remember; Wherever ya are, whatever ya be a do'n "BE A GOOD ONE!'
Keep on Smile'n
Catch ya later