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The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke: Winter Is Upon Us, Department Of Errors And Corrections, I Love Gett'n Older

Greetings ta ever one in western Illinois and all readers of "The Quill."

Here it is, the full moon again in December, last Tuesday. It's a bit colder than last month's full moon.

Winter

Winter begins next Wednesday the 21st. I'm shore enough ready fer it ta begin fer it signals the beginn' of longer daylight hours. These short daylight hours we've been a have'n makes it hard ta get all the chores done whilst ya can still see.

Maybe some of you non-livestock fellers has forgot the extra chores winter brings on. Keep'n drink'n waters thawed out, livestock fed and bedded down, and treat'n animals for winter sickness, chews up a lot of short time daylight.

With the weather change'n so dramatically from warm to very cold and back again brings on health problems to cattle, hogs, and man kind alike.

It seems in very cold weather if'n anything can go wrong, it will. Tractors won't start, machinery breaks down, and when you yourself get the flu "er a cold yer enthusiasm is dampered severely.

Now, I ain't a complain'n, mind ya. I'm only remind'n you "grain farmers" and "snow birds" all the "Fun" what ya is miss'n out on!

Department of Errors & Corrections

Me and the boys has noticed a lot of negative comments on Mr. Trump lately in spite of or because of him be'n President elect.

Well, one of the Florida boys reminded me that from Kennedy thru Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, two Bushes, and Obama, the U.S. has been try'n ta assassinate Fidel Castro. If'n the math is correct that has been over 57 years of frustrated failure.

Trump is elected, and Fidel is dead in three weeks. Ahead of schedule and under budget! Put that in yer pipe and smoke it.

I Love Gett'n Older

Dessa reminded me that this column could use a little more humor now and again.

Well, a good friend from Florida reminded me of the Trump-Castro timeline, shared the follow'n information on gett'n older fer the benefit of this column's readers:

1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.

2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.

3.How to prepare Tofu:

a. Throw it in the trash

b. Grill some meat

4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

5. I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

9.Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.

11. I love being over 70. I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.

12. A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

13. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

14. November 6, 2016 will be the end of daylight Savings Time. Hope you don't forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night.

15. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

Barnyard Wisdom

Now, how about some Barnyard Wisdom to finish off this week's column:

• The shallower the stream the louder the BABBLE.
• Strapp'n on a gun to protect yourself can get ya "KILLED".
• FRIEND" is not always all that friendly a greeting.
• It's downright annoy'n ta argue with a feller who knows what he's talk'n about.
• Keep'n your mouth shut and be'n tactful might or might not be the same thing. It depends on your timing.
• Small minds and big mouths have a way of hook'n up.
• HOW LONG- "a few minutes" depends on whether you're in the bathroom or wait'n ta get in.
• There's no difference betwixt a slim chance and a fat chance.
• You cain't bury a feller just because he's been dead fer years.
• Forgive'n your enemy doesn't guarantee he'll forgive you, but it's a good start.
• A persuasive man has more than one vote.
• A lot of folk are smarter than they look. THEY GOTTA BE.
• Don't worry too much about what other folk think about ya. If'n they're give'n ya any thought at all they're probably wonder'n what ya think about them.
• If'n ya have ta tell somebody you're just kidd'n, maybe you're not.
• Know-it-alls are a bother ta those of us who really do know it all.
• Always try ta make folks happy, even if'n that means go'n out of your way ta avoid "em.
• One man's sacred cow is another's Big Mac.
• If'n ya get all wrapped up in yourself, ya'll find ya make a pretty small package.
• Even the poorest cow has a leather coat.
• There may come a day when the cow and the lion will lie down together, but the cow won't get much sleep.
• If'n ya get ta think'n you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
• Control your generosity when you're deal'n with a chronic borrower.
• Don't loan money to a friend. GIVE IT TA HIM. You'll have a better chance of gettin' repaid.
• Good fences make good neighbors, especially when your neighbor is a "DONKEY".
• OLD FRIENDS started out as new acquaintances.

That's enough wisdom fer this week's column. Have a good rest of the week.

Hope'n ta see ya in church this week.

Remember; Wherever ya are, whatever ya be a do'n "BE A GOOD ONE!'

Keep on Smile'n

Catch ya later

Barnyard Bruke