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The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke: "Plant'n Time - Illinois Declare War on USA - How To Get Along With People - A Garden"

Greetings to ever one in western Illinois and all readers of "The Quill." This week, Friday April 22, is Earth Day. I'm a hope'n ever one has a good Earth Day and maybe plant a "Curt" tree in memory of Curt Eisenmayer.

Plant'n Time

I'm start'n to notice a lot of planting begin'n and folk seem satisfied of the calmer weather. The progress of their field work shore seems at a mighty fast pace compared ta when we used ta utilize two row planters and check wire. I guess life in general is a faster pace compared ta years ago.

The rain over the weekend was welcome but some was worried early on when they missed the rain on the first front that came thru.

Illinois Declares War On USA

The boys was talk'n the other day of Illinois declare'n war on the USA. The stories goes as follows:

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.

"Hello, President Obama" a heavily accented Midwestern voice said. "This is Bruce, down here at Wubbens Bar and Grill in western Illinois. I am callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on ya'll!"

"Well Bruce," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Bruce, after a moments calculation, "There is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Wubben's. That makes eight!"

Barack paused, "I must tell you Bruce that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Bruce. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Bruce called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Bruce?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Rusty's farm tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Bruce, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Bruce, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Bruce rang again the next day..."President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harold's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the VFW have joined us as well!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Bruce that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, "I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Oh Lord," said Bruce, "I'll have to call you back."

Sure enough, Bruce called again the next day. "President Obama! I'm sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well sir," said Bruce, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners."


How To Get Along

Did you ever wonder how some folk seem ta get along better with people whilst, others seem ta struggle? Norman Vincent Peale gave the follow'n advice on "Hows To Get Along With People":

1. LIKE. If you genuinely like people, enjoy being with them, talking with them, and like being helpful to them, you will find that people generally will like you. And when mutual liking exists, people get along with one another.

2. INTEREST. Become interested in the other person's ideas and activities. Direct conversation to the other individual's interest, rather than talking about yourself. As you become absorbed in his interests, he will become attentive to yours, and you will have a pleasant time together.

3. LIKABLE. To be liked and to get along with people, it is necessary to be a likable person. Practice the old saying, "To have friends, be friendly."

4. NAMES. Practice the art of remembering names. Focus on the other person, so that the name will register. Remember that a person's name is important to him. Knowing it will help you get along with him.

5. EASY. Be easy to get along with. Be a comfortable sort of person, so that there is no strain in being with you. Be an "old shoe" kind of individual. Be homey, down to earth.

6. STIMULATING. Cultivate the quality of being stimulating. If being with you makes people feel better and more alive, you will be sought after; people will want to be with you; your personal relations will be excellent.

7. SCRATCHY. Personal relations deteriorate when a person has scratchy elements in his personality. That is to say, do not rub people the wrong way. Be untense and affable.

8. SENSITIVE. Avoid being an edge and sensitive, so that you are easily hurt; for people instinctively shy off from the super-sensitive, fearing to arouse an unpleasant reaction. Avoid the temptation to react with hurt feelings, and you will get along with people.

9. HEAL. Sincerely attempt to heal on an honest basis every misunderstanding that you may have with other individuals. Mentally and spiritually drain of your grievances, and maintain an attitude of goodwill with every human being.

10. DO. Love people and do things for them. Perform unselfish and outgoing acts of friendship. Such sincere self-giving inevitably leads to pleasant personal relations. It is all summed up in a familiar scripture admonition: "Do for others what you want them to do for you." (See Matthew 7:12; Luke 6:31)

There ya has it then. I started this column by talk'n about plant'n. We know springtime is plant'n time so heres a poem entitled "A Garden". I'm a hope'n you will enjoy it:

First, let's have five rows of peas - Preparedness, Politeness, Promptness, Perseverance and Prayer.

Next, let's have three rows of squash - Squash gossip, squash criticism, squash indifference.

Then let's have four rows of lettuce - Let us be faithful, let us be unselfish, let us be loyal and truthful, let us love one another.

A Garden

No garden is complete without Turnips - Turn up for church regularly, turn up with a smile every day, turn up with real determination.

Note: A garden like this could prove very faithful. Let's plant, cultivate, love, nurture and harvest it. - Author Unknown

Hope'n ta see you'ns all in church this week. Have a safe joy filled week fer you and yer family.

Where ever ya is, what ever ya be a do'n. "BE A GOOD ONE!"

Keep on Smile'n

Catch ya later

Barnyard Bruke