The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
Greetings to ever one in western Illinois and all readers of The Quill.
Threshers Bee
I'm a hope'n this column finds ever one in good spirits and ready fer the Western Illinois Threshers Bee and antique show over near Hamilton on August 7-9 (this come'n weekend).
Them fellers put on quite a good show with lots of fun and good entertainment fer young and old alike.
Antique Sale
If'n ya wants ta buy some of that antique equipment of tractors and engines then ya had best mark your calendar fer Thursday, August 27th at 9 a.m. Mike Jones is sell'n his collection at the edge of Smithshire. It should be a very interest'n sale.
Cecil The Lion
The news is shore full of the reported shoot'n of Cecil the lion by a dentist trophy hunter. Some are insist'n he be extradited ta Zimbabwe fer a "Kangaroo" trial.
Celebrity animal lovers such as Rickey Gervais and Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting were tweeting actively about the incident. Celebrities respond to animal stories as they have the advantage of be'n less controversial than race issues. Celebrities have found when they step into some race issues, they've received a slap on the hand fer perceived insensitivity.
There are innocent people be'n shot, mugged, raped, and greatly harmed every day that receive less attention than the shoot'n of the aged old lion named Cecil.
The country of Zimbabwe is in shambles, lives are be'n lost regularly, and there is little hope fer its people. In this country baby parts are be'n harvested and sold for profit.
The U.S. political system of address'n important issues seems ta be nonfunctional, the national debt continues to climb rampardly, illegal immigration is unsolved and folk want ta turn a Dentist over ta a country such as Zimbabwe ta have their way with him. Go figure it out-it seems a little out of order ta many folk.
Maybe Walter James Palmer, the Dentist hunter, needs to relocate ta one of them safe Harbor cities, such as San Francisco, where they provide protection ta law breakers.
Well, this discussion is work'n on to much of the serious side of matters. Probably its time fer some humor that was shared by a good Henderson County resident and former public office holder. Here it is, some humor fer ya:
Humor
Your laugh fer the day.
I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment.....now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is...."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change things I can and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap.
I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights".
My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
Even duct tape can't fix stupid....but it can muffle the sound.
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I actually came in there for.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.
Live simply, love generously, care deeply, and speak kindly.
There ya has it then. Remember, don't expect ta enjoy the cream of life if'n ya keep your milk of human kindness all bottled up.
That's all fer this weeks column. Hope'n ta see ya in Hamilton fer the Threshers Bee as well as in church.
Wherever ya is, whatever ya be a do'n "BE A GOOD ONE!"
Keep on Smile'n
Catch ya later
BARNYARD BRUKE