The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
Greetings to ever one in western Illinois and all readers of The Quill.
How many of youn's saw the full moonal eclipse last Saturday? It was even a red color fer a spell as a result.
White Lie Cake
Have ya ever told a white lie?
Alice Grayson was to bake a cake fer the Baptist Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa, but forgot to do it until the last minute.
She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while dryng her hair, dressing, and helping her son pack for scout camp.
When she took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured and she exclaimed, "Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake!"
So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. She found it in the bathroom - a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect. And, before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head fer work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home.
When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her mom. Alice was horrified-she was beside herself! Everyone would know! What would they think? She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed! All night, Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.
The next day, Alice promised herself she would try not to think about the cake, and would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a fellow church member and try to have a good time. She did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having already RSVP'd, she couldn't think of a believable excuse to stay home.
The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old south and to Alice's horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert!
Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake! She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful cake!"
Alice, still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "Thank you, I baked it myself."
Alice smiled and thought to herself, "God is good."
Thank you Bill, fer share'n this little story with our readers. It should bring a smile. As long as ya might be chuck'ln C.C and R.M. forwarded the follow'n fer your enjoyment:
My wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "Come on man, how abut giving a senior citizen a break?" He just ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an "Explicative"! He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.
So Shirley (my wife), called him a "Scalawag." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. He finally finished, sneered at us and walked away. Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.
We always look for cars with political stickers. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's so important at our age!!
There ya has it then. Ya are never too old ta have fun in pull'n a prank!
Recently a friend told me of a, "Concealed Carry" class given in order fer the registrants to legally carry a concealed carry weapon. Several students were from Henderson County. Enterestinly enough there were a number of ladies enrolled in the class.
The students take 16 hours of classroom intense train'n and have ta pass a marksman test in which with 30 shots they have ta hit the designated target a minimum of 21 times.
It was reported the women folk did quite well with all passing the test, even though several had never even shot a gun before. One little lady even quite accurately hit the "Bulls Eye" - 30 out of 30 shots. One hundred percent accurate, I am told.
I would shore enough hate ta be the raccoon raid'n her sweet corn patch!
I am reminded of a story of a feller who was on the look out fer radical gun control measures. Here's how he told it:
It's already started at Cabela's Sporting Goods.
When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gunpowder and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and the alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card-reader.
I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer. I still don't think I looked that bad!
Thank you T. fer share'n your humor with our readers, as well. I appreciate all of the followers of this column in that ya are so will'n ta share your humor ta brighten up someone's day.
Hope'n ta see ya in church this week with prayers, thanksgiving's, and a light heart.
Where ever ya is, what ever ya be a do'n "BE A GOOD ONE"!Keep on Smile'n
Catch ya later