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The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke: "Harvest Info, Non-GMO, Grandchildren Perceptions"

Greetings to ever one in Western Illinois and all readers of The Quill.

Next Monday, September 22, is the Autumn Equinox. Then it is full bore ahead, here we are with all the trimmin's of fall.

Harvest Info

One week ago Monday I learned of several farmers harvest'n corn already. Moisture levels were reported at 23% on corn that was damaged by hail. It was not thought any yield records were gonna be broken when the final tickets were added up because of the hail damage. The farmer felt his next field would be test'n around 28%.

Dryland Kansas corn is be'n harvested also. Field that typically would average yield 115-125 bpa are produce'n 165 bpa ta 180 bpa at this point. They are certainly happy with those results.

Non-GMO

The boys noticed and brought ta my attention a large billboard on the way ta Burlington, advertise'n a large array of Non-GMO corn.

The boys thought on that billboard fer a spell an finally declared insanity yet prevalent amongst some folk. First of all I would not be so harsh. If'n someone wants ta go Non-GMO, thats great.

The premiums aren't as strong as they once was and everone should get a turn at fight'n weeds, dropp'n ears from corn borer on windy fall days, try'n fer good yields after the plant has lost much of its roots ta rootworm, the joy of harvest'n down corn from rootworm damage, and harvest equipment damage from down corn, a slow harvest, poor yields and a host of many other sorry problems. Use'n insecticides once again in the spring with the planter and breath'n their dust and gett'n em on the body all day long is a side benefit.

Best of all with lower yields the Non-GMO feller will have the satisfaction of help'n his neighbors. Lower yields are often promoted as provide'n better market prices.

Well, I sez ta the boys, ya shore has given me a passel of food fer thought. There's plenty of folk that would like ta argue in this arena, but as fer me, I'll just sit, listen and contemplate. Thats what's good about farm'n in this country as of yet. Everone can follow their own wisdom and make decisions and/or mistakes accordingly.

Grandchildren Perceptions

Along that line, have ya ever thought on how children perceive their grandparents. Well, here's some enterest'n comments along that line...

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their rooms, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.

"What's it about?" he asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says I'm 4-6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said... "How do you make babies?"

"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y' to "i' and add "es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.

"Sure," said the young boy confidently, "It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.

"No," said another. "He's just for good luck..."

A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

Well there ya has it then, straight from the young'ns mouth. I'm a hope'n it brings a smile ta your face and makes fer a better rest of the day fer ya.

That's it fer this column, my time is UP!

Hope'n ta see ya in church this week. Where ever ya is, what ever ya be a do'n "BE A GOOD ONE!"

Keep on Smile'n

Catch ya later

BARNYARD BRUKE