The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
Greetings tto ever one in Western Illinois and all readers of The Quill. I'm a hope'n this column finds ya in good spirits and enjoy'n life ta the fullest.
The boys was a compare'n "did ya knows" the other day, each try'n to out do the other. Here is some of their "did ya knows".
Did ya know
Did ya know ya can get arrested fer hunt'n or fish'n without a license, but not fer enter'n and remain'n in the country illegally?
Did ya know you have ta get your parents permission to take an aspirin in school or to go on a field trip, but not to get an abortion?
Did ya know ya must show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not ta vote?
Did ya know the government wants to prevent stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines that hold more than ten rounds, but gives twenty F-16 fighter jets ta the questionable new leaders in Egypt?
Did ya know in the nation's largest city ya can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make ya fat?
Did ya know an 80-year-old woman or a three-year girl who is confined ta a wheelchair can be strip-searched by the TSA at the airport, but a woman in a burka or a hijab is only subject to have'n her neck and head searched?
Did ya know the government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is ta spend trillions more?
Did ya know a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school fer say'n his teacher is "cute", but host'n a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable?
Did ya know hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion, while not work'n is rewarded with food stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized house'n, and free cell phones?
Did ya know the government's plan fer gett'n folk back to work is to provide incentives fer not work'n, by grant'n 99 weeks of unemployment checks, without any requirement to prove that gainful employment was diligently sought, but couldn't be found?
Did ya know if'n ya pay's your mortgage faithfully, deny'n yourself the newest big-screen T.V., whilst your neighbor buys Iphones, time shares, a well-sized do-it-all plasma screen T.V. and new cars, the government will forgive his debt?
Did ya know according to the government, be'n stripped of your constitutional right to defend yourself makes ya more safe?
Well, accord'n ta the best and most knowledgeable gents in western Illinois-now ya do knows!
71 Yr. Old Pregnant Women
Buster Jigs told us fellers of an elderly woman he knows who went ta the doctors office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she busted out of there scream'n as she bolted down the hall.
An older doctor curiously stopped her and asked what the problem was. She anxiously told him her fearful story. After listen'n, he had her sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor indignatly marched down the hallway back ta where the young doctor was a write'n on his clipboard.
"What in the world is wrong with you?!" the older doctor demanded. "Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?
The younger doctor continued write'n on his clipboard and without look'n up calmly said "Does she still have her supposedly incurable hiccups?"
Gee whiz, that was an interest'n way of solve'n that ladies hiccup problem!
Used Gravesite Fer Sale
And finally have ya learned that in Antwerp they have 5,000 secondhand graves on the market. Ya can buy a tomb with headstones or other memorials fer a cost of between $1,360 ta $4,080 depend'n on the size. The city sez a less elaborate grave new would cost about $4,080.
The previous graves remains are removed ta an ossuary, a central site to store human remains, and the plot is then reused.
The city of London cemetery, Europe's largest municipal graveyard, has allowed the reuse of graves since 2007.
In Antwerp, secondhand buyers agree ta maintain memorials and their names can be added when the time comes. They have the option of remove'n or join'n the current occupants.
I'm a guess'n this phenomenon can be added ta your "did ya know list".
Have a good time at the Gladstone Homecoming. Thank you ta Michelle Schnicker fer her highway 34 improvement efforts.
Hope'n ta see ya in church this week. Wherever ya is, what ever ya be a do'n BE A GOOD ONE! Keep on Smile'n-
Catch ya Later,
BARNYARD BRUKE