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The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke: "ADVERSITY, CRISIS, PROSPERITY, THE EX, IRONIES, DIVORCE AGREEMENT"

Greetings to ever one in western Illinois and all readers of The Quill.

ADVERSITY

There is no education like adversity. Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant.

As todays corn prices slowly etch lower, below the cost of production, loses are be'n predicted fer farmers. There might be some real education opportunities in the future. In fact, think of all the talents that might be "elicited".

CRISIS

If'n, as a result of depressed prices, we are headed for a crisis. Keep this in mind: When written in Chinese the word "Crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.

PROSPERITY

It has been said there is more opportunity in adversity than there is in prosperity. And, that might be so, however a life spent make'n mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent do'n noth'n.

It has been said that around 50% of the marriages these days end in divorce. Therefore half of you'ns might agree to the follow'n info find'n it somewhat humorous and the other half might find it downright disgust'n.

We know divorce and separation can cause some uncomfortable situations at times. Well, it has been stated that one should never get jealous when ya see's your ex with someone else, because our parents taught us to give our used personal possessions to the less fortunate.

THE EX

There was a feller a few years back who, on his wedding day, received a sympathy card from the ex. He thought it was a joke at first but five years later he relized the melancholy truth of what that message meant from the ex.

It's kinda like the old song years ago of the feller that always was a hankered to walk in "Charlies" married shoes. After Charlie left, he took them shoes on only to find it was a mighty poor fit.

IRONIES

Did ya ever stop ta think about the irony of today's world. We are told NOT to judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a "few lunatics".

But, on the other hand, we are encouraged TO judge ALL GUN OWNERS by the actions of a "few lunatics".

How is that supposed to work...?????

The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distribut'n, this year, the greatest amount of free meals and food stamps ever, to 47 million people as of the most recent figures available in 2013.

Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of Interior, asks us "Please DO NOT Feed the animals".

Their stated reason for the policy is because "The animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves."

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Thus ends this column's short lessons on irony and on to one fellers plans fer a divorce.

The follow'n divorce agreement was written by a young American law student by the name of John S. Wall.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is the separation agreement:

• "Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion.

That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy!

Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

• We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
• You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
• Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
• We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind and solar.
• You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a electric powered vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
• We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street,
• You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
• We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
• We'll keep Bill O'Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
• You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
• You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
• We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
• You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.
• We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
• You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
• We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
• I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
• We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
• Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just get with it. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin and Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, and (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country."

Well there ya has it then.

I'll be jiggered if'n this divorce topic, the thoughts on the ex, and modern ironies has plum given the boys and I a passel of food fer thought and plenty to jaw on fer a spell. Not ta say we won't jaw up a patch as well on adversity, crisis, and young law students.

Fer now however, them boys are as "contented as cows inna' August corn field as to their state of their affairs. And, if'n there ain't no tomorrow, there won't be no need to worry on them subjects.

Thats all there is fer this week folks. Wherever ya is, what ever ya be a do'n BE A GOOD ONE! Keep on Smile'n and keep the Faith.

Hope'n to see ya in church this week.

Catch ya later,

BARNYARD BRUKE