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The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke: "Obama Care - The Deaf Wife Problem Power Outage - Ole and Lena"

Greetings to ever one in western Illinois and all readers of The Quill.

Shore is nice to have some more moderated weather. Four more weeks and spring will be here.

Obama Care

Me and the boys saw recently an enterest'n description of Obama Care put together in one long sentence by Dr. Barbara Bellar. It went as follows:

"Let me get this straight. We are gonna be gifted with a health care plan we are forced to purchase and fined if we don't, which reportedly will cover at least ten million more people without adding a single new doctor, but provides for 16,000 new IRS agents, written by a committee whose chairman sez he doesn't understand it, passed by a congress that didn't read it, but exempted themselves from it, and signed by a president who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, for which we will be taxed for four years before any benefits take affect, by the government which has already bankrupted Social Security and Medicare, all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that's broke, so what in the world could possibly go wrong."

Well, I guess that's an enterest'n way of putt'n together sentence structure. As fer it's content, it raises some very enterest'n questions as well. As fer me and the boys I guess we've got plenty of time to discuss her thoughts betwixt now and spring, what is a rush'n fast upon us.

The Deaf  Wife Problem

Elmer feared his wife Luella wasn't hear'n as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hear'n aid. Not quite sure how to delicately approach her, he called their family doctor to discuss the problem.

The doctor told him there is a simple informal test Elmer could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hear'n loss.

"Here's what ya do', said the doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speak'n tone, see if'n Luella hears ya. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until ya gets a response.'

That even'n Luella was in the kitchen cook'n dinner, and Elmer was in the den. He sez to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens'. Then in a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's fer dinner?'

No response.

So Elmer moves closer to the kitchen about 30 feet from Luella and repeats, "Luella, what's for dinner?'

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dine'n room where he is about 20 feet from Luella and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away, "Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again there is no response.

So Elmer walks right up behind her, "Luella, what's fer dinner?'

"Fer goodness sake, Elmer, sez Luella, fer the FIFTH straight time, CHICKEN?'

Power Outage

Cornelious Farkwad said that he heard that Mr. Short Britches with his hat on backwards came into the coffee shop the other day to report that he had a power cut at his place that morning and his PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & his new surround sound music system had all shut down.

He told the boys that he discovered that his new fancy iPhone's battery was flat too.

He said he went into the kitchen to make coffee and then he remembered, that it also needed power, so he just sat down and talked with his wife for a few hours.

He told the boys, "You know, she seems like a pretty nice person."

Me and the boys, we just shook our heads.

Ole and Lena

Cornelious said, that reminds me of a story I heard about Ole and his wife Lena.

Ole was driving a wagonload of wheat to town when a wheel was caught in the ditch and overturned. Sven saw it and came out to inspect a little.

"Hey, Ole," he called out. "I'll help you turn the wagon back over and fill it up again. But I'm about to eat dinner. Why don't you come and have dinner with me? Then we'll go to work."

"Thank you, Sven," Ole answered, "but I don't think Lena would like me to."

"Oh, come on!" Sven insisted.

"OK," Ole finally agreed, "but Lena won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Ole thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Lena's going to be upset," he said.

"Don't worry so much," said Sven. "By the way, where is she?"

"Under the wagon," said Ole.

Well, there ya has it fer this week.

Wherever ya is, what ever ya be a do'n BE A GOOD ONE!

Keep on Smile'n and hope to see ya in church this week.

Catch ya Later

Barnyard Bruke