The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke: "Lawmaker Folly, Polotic Differences, More Humor, Spring Work"

Greetings to ever one in western Illinois and all readers of The Quill.

Lawmaker Folly

Lawmakers are try'n ta pass a bill protect'n cougars, bears, and other such varmint from be'n shot in Illinois. They (mean'n legislatures) are a goofy bunch. First they deny their existence and then they wants to protect em even though they claim they don't exist in Illinois. Finally, they wants to protect their existence and growth in numbers by given em legal protection.

Do ya suppose them lawmakers would want a cougar or bear a roam'n around near their backyard with children nearby? The mental strain of be'n a lawmaker seems to be gett'n the best of them folk! They needs a vacation - the kind that comes with vote'n em out of office so's they can have more time to play with the non-existent cougar and bear.

Polotic Differences

Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Southerner. Well, here's a little test that will help ya decide. The answer can be found by pose'n the follow'n question:

Ya is walk'n down a deserted street with your wife and two small children....

Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with ya, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges ya ....

Ya are carry'n a Kimber 1911 caliber 45 ACP, and ya are an expert shot. Ya have mere seconds before he reaches ya and your family.

What do ya do?

Democrats Answer:

• Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
• What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?
• Does the man look poor or oppressed?
• Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
• Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
• Could we run away?
• What does my wife think?
• What about the kids?
• Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
• What does the law say about this situation?
• Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
• Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
• Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
• Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
• If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
• Should I call 9-1-1?
• Why is this street so deserted?
• We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day.
• Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior?
• I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
• This is all so confusing!

Republicans Answer:

BANG!

Southerner's Answer:

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Click....(sounds of reload'n)

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Click

Daughter: "Nice grouping Daddy!'

Were those the Winchester silver tips or hollow points?

Son: "Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: "Ya ain't take'n that ta the taxidermist!'

More Humor

• More humor to put a smile on your face today:
• While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, "I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too."
• Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. In ten years," I said, "you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now." Carolyn shrugged, "In ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway."

Spring Work

It might be too wet ta work the ground but it's about right fer trim'n fruit trees, rack'n leaves and putt'n in fertilizer spikes fer tree growth.

Strange thing about the farm, there's always someth'n ta do ta burnoff the accumulated fat picked up dure'n the winter months.

"Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field.' Dwight D. Eisenhower

Well, that's it fer this week. Have a good one as ya enjoy live'n.

Hope'n to see ya in church this weekend.

Keep on Smile'n and where ever ya is, what ever ya be a do'n, "BE A GOOD ONE!'

Catch ya later

BARNYARD BRUKE