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The Wisdom of Barnyard Bruke: Newlywed Surprise. Amaze'n Gun Facts, Just me an' LeRoy, Job Hunt'n

Greetings to ever one in Western Illinois and all readers of the Quill.

Newlywed Surprise

A neighbor of Bill Jones, over in the South East part of our country, and his longtime live in girl friend, finally decided to tie the knot. They had a gloriously big church wedd'n with all the trimmins, attended by both of their children, conceived dure'n their relationship. One even'n after the honeymoon in Hawaii, he was reload'n some shells fer an up come'n hunt. His new wife was stand'n there by the bench.

After a long period of silence she finally speaks up. Honey, I've been think'n now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunt'n and fish'n. Maybe you should sell your guns and boat and give up that recreation fer a sport.

Her husband gets this horrified look on his face. She sez " Darl'n whats wrong?" He sez " There fer a minute you was sound's like my ex wife".

"Ex- wife" she screamed, " I didn't know you was married before!"

To which he honestly replies "I wasn't"!

Amaze'n Gun Facts

Bill Jones sez philosophically " Don't try to an get in the way of a Western Illinois hunter "n/ fisherman". Speak'n along them lines, "Buster Jigs" gave us fellers some amaze'n facts about U.S. hunters and Guns. It shore enough puts some interest'n slant on things.

America's Hunters, Pretty Amazing!

The world's largest army.. America's Hunters! I had never thought about this. A blogger added up the deer license sales in just a handful of states and arrived at a striking conclusion: There were over 600,000 hunters this season in the state of Wisconsin. Allow me to restate that number. Over the last several months, Wisconsin's hunters became the eighth largest army in the world. More men under arms than in Iran. More than France and Germany combined. These men deployed to the woods of a single American state, Wisconsin, to hunt with firearms, and no one was killed.

That number pales in comparison to the 750,000 who hunted the woods of Pennsylvania and Michigan's 700,000 hunters, all of whom have now returned home safely. Toss in a quarter million hunters in West Virginia and it literally establishes the fact that the hunters of those four states alone would comprise the largest army in the world. And then add the total of hunters in the other 46 states.

It's millions more. The point? America can forever be safe from any foreign invasion with that kind of home-grown fire power. Hunting... it's not just a way to fill the freezer.. it's a matter of national security. That's why all enemies, foreign and domestic, want to see us disarmed. Food for though, when next we consider gun control.

Overall it's true, so if we disregard some assumptions that hunters don't possess the same skills as soldiers, the question would still remain... what army of 2 million would want to face 30, 40, or 50 million armed citizens. For the sake of our freedom, don't ever allow gun control or allow the government to confiscation our guns, sez Buster.

Just me an' Leroy

On the lighter side, Sandy Bob shared with us boys about Just me an' Le Roy

Sandy stopped at a gas station and after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind him and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole the other was 25 feet behind filling in the hole. The men worked right past Sandy with the soft drink and went right on down the road. "I can't stand this" sez Sandy. He tossed the can into a trash container and headed down the road toward the men.

"Hold it! Hold it! he sez to the men. " Can you tell me what's going on here with all this digging and refilling?" " Well we works for the government and we're just doing our job. one of the men sez. " But one of you is digging a whole and the other is filling it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the taxplayers money?" "You don't understand mister," one of the men sez, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. " Normally there's three of us; Me, Elmer, and LeRoy. I dig the hole, Elmer sticks in the tree, and Leroy here puts the dirt back. " You see with the governent sequestering, they are not buying any more trees, and Elmer's job's been cut.... so now it's just me an' LeRoy. When them boy's gets together on a blister'n hot high humidity day ya never knows what enterest'n facts ya might learn.

Job Hunt'n

Buster Jigs shared with us boys some information on his cousin, first removed, Sally Mullihan. She is from Coral Springs, Florida and decided to take one of the jobs most American's are not will'n to do.

Sally applied for a job in a Florida lemon grove and seemed to be far to qualified for the job.

She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and a school teacher.

The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you, have had any actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have." she said.

"I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Chryslers and I voted for Obama."

She got the job immediately!!!

Thar ya has it then, that's all fer this column. There ain't no more. I'm a hope'n betwixt the facts, spliced with humor, youn's week can be a little brighter.

Have a good week and where ever ya is, whatever ya be a do'n BE A GOOD ONE!

Hope'n to see youn's in church this weekend.

Keep on Smile'n

Catch ya Later in neighborly love

Barnyard Bruke