The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
Greetings to ever one in western Illinois and all readers of The Quill. Cornelius Farkwad told me he was sick and tired of answer'n questions about his dog!
A GOOD DOG
Yes, he mauled six people wearing "Ban All Guns" T-shirts, four people wearing "Raise All Taxes" T-shirts, Two rich tast'n Republicans, nine teenagers with pants hang'n past their crack, three flag burners and a feller wear'n a neo nazi T-Shirt.
Cornelius wants to make it abundantly clear fer the last time...the Dog is NOT for sale!!!
Well, that be'n stated clearly Jasper Jenks inquired of Cornelius as to what he charged fer breed'n fees or if'n he had a litter of pups come'n along and how soon!
DRIVING
Not to be out done Elmer Fudpucker, off to my east, told of the drive'n habits of two of his elderly neighbors. It goes as follows:
Two elderly men, from Raritan, were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection in Burlington. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The man in the passenger seat thought to himself I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.'
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The man in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that he was losing it. He was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, he turned to his friend driv'n the car and said, Henry, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!'
Henry turned to him and said, "Oh, Jumpn Jahivens, am I driving?"
Well, I'll be jiggered, the elderly boys in our group all agreed - Please tell me this won't happen to us!!!
I'M SORRY FER REAL
Ya know from early childhood day we taught the value and necessity of say'n "I'm sorry". It was imprinted in our minds at home and in the ole one room school. Unfortunately the response to such prodding was more form than substance.
The value in this simple act becomes real as we grow older. Is this a sign of maturity? Perhaps. But as we accept responsibility fer our wrong do'n, the burden of guilt leaves ya. It sets ya free.
An apology is much more than an admission of guilt. It contains an element of repentance, preceded by sorrow.
The follow'n statement by an unknown author sez it best: "An apology has three parts: 1) I'm sorry. 2) What I did was wrong. 3) What can I do to make it up to you?
Some folk mistake the first part fer an apology, but it's too shallow. A sincere apology should include responsibility fer the misdeed and an offer of penance to demonstrate contrition. Anyone who can't take the last two steps is not worthy of the first.
Be'n sorry is serious business. The notion that right words will suffice is revealed fer what it is, as empty and shallow. A true apology is a heart issue. Our language is but a means of communication, a vehicle to convey what cannot be expressed otherwise.
"I'm sorry" are two little words that open the floodgates of heal'n fer hurts inflicted. A small price to pay fer relationships restored. Do ya want ta deny yourself this experience?
An apology has its own best reward!
Or, as Sandy Bob sez: "Admit it when ya is wrong. Confess when ya've done something dumb or stupid."
"One foe is too many and one hundred friends too few".
"Who serves his fellow man is of all the greatest.
Even as ya desire good treatment, so render it".
MORE HUMOR
Some sez life can be taken too serious, others sez life too lighthearted. Oscar Wilde is quoted as say'n:
Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him fer what he is not.
A sense of humor was provided to console him fer what he is.
That be'n said, churches in Las Vegas has developed someth'in new. Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offer'ns.
The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery fer sort'n. Then, the chips are take'n to the casinos of origin and cashed in. This is done by "CHIP MONKS".
Ya didn't figure this one out ahead did ya?!
Have a Great Day and make an effort to sort through it all. Hope'n to see youn's in church this weekend. Where ever ya is, what ever ya be a do'n, BE A GOOD ONE!
Keep on Smile'n
Catch ya later
BARNYARD BRUKE