The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

Letting Go

by Dessa Rodeffer, Quill Publisher/Owner

May 2, 2012

Letting go-we don't want it to happen :completely.

I've been watching in the background, as my granddaughter and my daughter are coming closer to her high school graduation day, and I recall those days of extreme anxiety all too well.

Where does the time go. I use to think, "Will somebody please stop that clock so I can savor the moments just a little bit longer."

Struggles between teenagers who are anxious to leap out of the nest and make their own choices, and their parents, who think their teenagers aren't ready holding on to them with both hands, is an on-going dilemma from generation to generation.

Advice flows freely from moms who usually take on the majority of the child raising tasks, giving instructions of what is permissible and what is not, and the why behind it all.

Finally, a teenager grows to say, "Enough is enough, I get it," and knows it's time to try his wings, but they never want you to let go completely.

Every parent went through being a teenager, but most of the time we just forget how we stumbled in the takeoff to adulthood, but we finally got off the ground.

Even if some of us didn't stick to the flight pattern our parents mapped out for us, lessons were learned throughout life that drove our thoughts home to mom and dad and their good advice.

I can recall moving into my home for the first time and actually being afraid that I may not be able to balance everything like my mother could. In fact, I didn't know if I could do it at all, but I didn't tell her that. Independence is something that is part of each of us so strongly that we will do almost anything to get it, including an American Revolution, the Civil War, and enlisting in the Marines after 9-11 to fight in Iraq.

Will our kids be ready and be able to make all the right choices you wonder?

Well, maybe in a perfect world, but think back just a little bit. Did we? There are no perfect lives.

When I went to the University of Illinois orientation, the Dean of Students told us our incoming Freshmen students are not going to learn everything in college, but they will learn where they must go to find answers.

Throughout life, we may never be ready for what life hands us, but we will continue to be looking for answers to life's problems.

One thing for sure, we will not gain strength to stand strong without practice in doing it. It's similar to getting rid of crutches. The more one exercises the less the crutches are needed.

Teens have been leaning on parents less and less, and as much as we want to hold on, we must let go so they can exercise the things you taught them. To let go, is to allow them to become strong, so they can return as a friend.