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The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke: "Big Rains, If I Were the Devil, Teachers Day, Mothers Day"

Greetings to everyone in western Illinois.

As I am write'n this column there is much lightn'n to the north and a storm brew'n for those folks up there.

To the south the full moon is a shine'n and no sign of rain or violent weather. It shore is a spectacular view. To the east, fer several counties, the clouds dumped on them fellers what wuz a "log-roller'n toad-choker" two different times in the same day, last Sunday. One, around 9 a.m. what came on suddenly and proved a real "duck drownder". The second storm came around 3 p.m. and it rained cats "n dogs right quick like.

All total the rain gauges, that was big enough, to hold that volume of water showed over 6 inches rainfall. Water flowed over the roads, flat fields became lakes, and creeks overflowed their banks. Strong winds fell trees and destroyed some build'ns.

Over into Iowa, around Wayland, a twister touched down and turned loose a whole bunch of turkeys earlier last week. What a mess that storm brought.

It's shore surprise'n in how short a time it takes to eliminate a "drought". For now, that kind of talk has been stopped. We'll see what summer brings later on.

Paul Harvey broadcast, at one time, on over 1200 radio stations. He first broadcast a piece called, "If I Were the Devil" about 1965. Later the author apparently edited and reworked the homily. It is enterest'n enough, the neighborhood boys requested I share it with youn's now. See what ya thinks of his commentary first broadcast over 47 years ago, April 3, 1965.

"If I Were The Devil"

by Paul Harvey

If I were the Devil...if I was the Prince of Darkness, I'd want to engulf the whole world in darkness.

And I would have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its population, but I wouldn't be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree, thee. So I'd set about however necessary to take over the United States.

I'd subvert the churches first . I'd begin with a campaign of whispers. With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve, "Do as you please".

To the young I would whisper that the Bible is a myth. I would convince them that man created God instead of the other way around.

I would confide that what is bad is good, and what is good is "square".

And the old, I would teach to pray after me:

"Our Father, which are in Washington".

And then, I'd get organized.

I'd educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting.

I'd threaten TV with dirtier movies and vice versa.

I'd peddle narcotics to whom I could.

I'd sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction.

I'd tranquilize the rest with pills. If I were the devil.

I'd soon have families at war with themselves, churches at war with themselves, and nations at war with themselves. Until each in it's turn was consumed. And with promises of higher ratings, I'd have mesmerizing media fanning the flames. If I were the devil, I would encourage schools to refine young intellects but neglect to discipline emotions- Just let those run wild until before you knew it,

You'd have to have drug-sniffing dogs and metal detectors at every schoolhouse door. Within a decade, I'd have prisons overflowing.

I'd have judges promoting pornography. Soon I could evict God from the courthouse, and then from the schoolhouse, and then from the House of Congress.

And in his own churches I would substitute psychology for religion and deify science.

I would lure priests and pastors into misusing boys and girls and church money.

If I were the devil, I'd make the symbol of Easter an egg and the symbol of Christmas a bottle. If I were the devil, I would take from those who have and I would give to those who wanted, until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious.

And what will you bet I couldn't get whole states to promote gambling as a way to get rich. I would caution against extremes in hard work, in patriotism, in moral conduct.

I would convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned, that swinging is more fun, that what you see on TV is the way to be.

And thus I could undress you in public, and I could lure you into bed with diseases for which there is no cure.

In other words, if I were the devil, I'd just keep right on doing what he's doing.

Paul Harvey - Good Day


Well there ya have it then, as the neighborhood boys requested, food for thought.

May 8 was National Teachers Day. We shore enough got us a good set of teachers here in western Illinois. How about a pat on the back and a special card of praise for them. They is a do'n a good job of train'n our replacements.

May 13 is Mothers Day. I'll share some quotes fer you'ns as it pertains to Mothers.

No man is poor who has a godly mother

- Abraham Lincoln

The angels, whispering to one another, can find, among their burning terms of love, none so devotional as that of "Mother" - Edgar Allen Poe

Nothing can compare in beauty, and wonder, and admirableness, and divinity itself, to the silent work in obscure dwellings of faithful women bringing their children to honor and virtue and piety

- Henry Ward Beecher

Most of all the beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world

- Kate Douglas Wiggin

No language can express the power and beauty and heroism and majesty of a mother's love. It shrinks not where man cowers, and grows stronger where man faints, and over the wastes of worldly fortune sends the radiance of its quenchless fidelity like as star in heaven.

- Edwin H. Chapin

I attribute my success in life to the moral, intellectual, and physical education which I received from my mother. - George Washington

There's nothing more precious than a mothers sweet prayer. There's nothing more gracious than the love she will share.

There's nothing as strong as the faith she declares;

And when things go wrong we know that she cares.

- Clay Harrison

"Whereas the service rendered the United States by the American mother is the greatest source of the country's strength and admiration; and Whereas we honor ourselves and the Mothers of America when we do anything to give emphasis to the home as the fountain head of the State; and Whereas the American mother is doing so much for good government and humanity, we declare that the second Sunday of May will henceforth be celebrated as Mother's Day."



Have a good Mother's Day weekend, give a loved one a hug, and hope to see ya in church Sunday morn'n.

Keep on Smile'n

Catch ya later

Barnyard Bruke