The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
Greetings to everyone in western Illinois,
I'm a hope'n youn's had a satisfactory week since the last column was printed and are a plan'n on a good week come'n up. Remember, proper attitude is a big part of the battle for joy and happiness.
Sandy Bob told of a sad situation, about a feller last Sunday, who adamantly refused to go to church. His mother firmly insisted that he must go to church non-the-less.
But the son insisted he wasn't gonna go. He felt the congregation was unlove'n and didn't like him. They held very negative feel'ns towards him, in his opinion, and he held the same strong negative feel'ns towards the congregation.
The mother insisted to her son that he must go to church that Sunday for two good reasons. Number one, he was 56 years old and should know better! Number two, he was the church's pastor!
It has been an enterest'n week, fer after Sandy Bob shared his story, Buster Jigs told of a sign he recently seen in western Illinois outside the entrance way to a farm. It read:
Notice: THIS PROPERTY IS A FARM
FARMS HAVE ANIMALS.
ANIMALS MAKE:
FUNNY SOUNDS
SMELL BAD, AND
HAVE SEX OUTDOORS.
UNLESS
YOU CAN TOLERATE:
NOISE,
ODORS, AND
OUTDOOR SEX,
DON'T BUY PROPERTY
OR
BUILD A FANCY HOME
NEXT TO A FARM!
Well I declare, I sez, to both Sandy and Buster, you feller's are very thought provoke'n individuals as we move along into winter.
Not to be outdone, Bill Jones told of four western Illinois brothers that left home for college and became successful doctors and lawyers.
One even'n, as they were gathered together for a family dinner they jawed, with pride, on what they had given their elderly mother for Christmas. She had moved to Florida fer a warmer winter weather and to be nearer her sister.
The first son, an orthopedic surgeon, declared, "You know I had a big house built for Mama." The second son, a heart surgeon said, "And I had a large theater built in the house." The third son, a trial lawyer, said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her." The fourth son, a prominent judge, proclaimed, "You know how mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher one day who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible, with complete authority and accuracy.
It took 15 preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I pledged $75,000 to the church for five years, but it was worth it for Mama's sake. She only has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
The other three brothers were sooo.....impressed and somewhat humbled. After the holidays Mama sent out her "Thank You" notes in her usual "frank" manner.
She wrote to the orthopedic surgeon son: "Milton, the house you had built for me is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to keep clean the whole house. I'm not sure I can keep it up for very long. Thanks anyway."
To the heart surgeon she wrote: "Marvin, I am too old to travel anymore. I stay at home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. It sits in Milton's huge garage attached to my immense home all week long. The thought was good, however. Thanks."
The third son, the trial lawyer, received the following note: "Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound. It can hold 50 people. But, all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture, just the same."
Finally, she wrote to the fourth son: "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the "good sense" to give a little thought to your gift? The bird was a marvelous gift.
Thank you also for the recording on Proverbs 15:17 "Better a meal of vegetables"....and for health's sake I suppose, that pleading phrase is probably true. None the less, I ate the whole chicken in two meals. It was delicious! Somehow, however, I lost that peaceful and sincere recording. Could you send me another one? Love, Mama
An old farm saying states: Ya cannot get the water to clear up until ya get's the pigs out of the crick! Bill Jones feels this somehow applies to our politicians in Washington.
Patty Murphy, on a more serious note, wondered why young men and women serve in the U.S. military for 20 years or more, risk'n their lives protect'n freedom, and only get a percentage of their pay when they retire? Whilst politicians hold their political positions in the safe confines of the capitol, protected by those same men and women, and receive full pay retirement after serve'n one term. To Patty it just does not make any sense. Down right unfair, ya might say!
Recently Patty learned that the staffers of Congress' family members are exempt from having to pay back student loans. If true, this also is not fair!
Patty sez he feels we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress. He feels many citizens have no idea that members of Congress can retire with the same pay after only one term, and that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed while citizens must live under those laws.
The latest is to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform...in all of its forms. Patty feels somehow that doesn't seem logical. Patty sez "We do not have an elite that is above the law"! He doesn't care if'n they are Democrat, Republican, Independent, or whatever. The self-serving must stop. It's simply unfair!
Fess McGee wondered if'n that unfairness was what President Obama was talk'n about in his State of the Union address when he made references to "be'n fair and fairness".
Instead of class warfare, Fess sez, maybe the president should be examin'n special exemptions and privileges our politicians are receive'n. "Now that would be FAIR", sez Fess.
To address the unfair situation, as addressed by President Obama, Cornelius Farkwad proposed a 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution: (rather than class warfare) This would demonstrate the sincerity of his speech!
"Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives: and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States."
Well, I'll be jiggered if'n those fellers haven't given me a passel amount of things to dwell on for this week. I reckon it'll while away any extra time I might have after prepare'n for taxes.
The humor from those fellers will help me get through the "tax" chore come'n up.
One thing I'm sure of: "Life is not fair! If'n it were, we would die in the order we was born". The best we can hope for is "Justice"!
Keep on Smile'n
Catch ya Later
Barnyard Bruke