The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke:"Misinterpreted sermons and cookies in an airport"

Greetings to everyone in western Illinois.

Another nice week is behind us and I have every cause to believe the upcome'n week will be great as well. I'm a hope'n the same for all youn's reading this column.

Some folk have finished plant'n corn already and few have started on beans. These cold nights have made the seed slow in emerge'n above ground. Frost, thus far, does not appear to have damaged the fruit tree crop.

With political season in full swing it is enterest'n the conclusions that can be drawn by politicians from both political parties. Sometimes it seems they avoid the obvious. A perfect example of this might be a lesson to be learned about four worms in church.

A minister, here in western Illinois last Sunday, decided that a visual demonstration of careful live'n would add important emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed in to four separate jars and set up beside the pulpit. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. The sermon was then given on good clean live'n and the harmful effects of not do'n so.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the minister reported the follow'n results:

The first worm in alcohol...Dead

The second worm in cigarette smoke...Dead

The third worm in chocolate syrup...Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil...Alive

So the minister asked the congregation in this small western Illinois rural community, "What did ya all learn from this demonstration", hope'n for affirmation of individual congregational changes to better lifestyles.

Orville Figpluker, you remember my neighbor to the south, quickly raised his hand high above his clean bib overalls and confidently replied, "As long as you drink, smoke, and eat chocolate, you won't have worms".

That was hardly the point the minister was a hope'n to make and it pretty much ended the service.

Some of the conclusions politicians come up with today are quite similar to Orville's conclusion in the worm analogy. In fact todays politicians, according to Bill Jones, would most likely conclude a farmer in western Illinois farm'n good clean $8,000 per acre soil is most likely to have his mind filled with worms!

Speak'n of politicians, Buster Jigs sez by listen'n to the liberal newscasters and read'n the liberal papers, "it is quite apparent we are supposed to be more angry about what Mitt Romney does with his money that what Barack Obama does with ours".

The neighborhood boys all agreed they was a gonna have to ponder on that one fer a spell.

As we talked abut politicians and how the government is be'n run, Cornelius Farkwad shared with our group a quote by Patrick Henry. You know, Mr. Henry was the "Give me liberty or give me death" feller from the early found'n of our country.

It seems, accord'n to Cornelius, that Mr. Henry held the belief and made the statement, "The constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government - lest it come to dominate our lives and enterests".

Wow!! Where is the likes of Patrick Henry today when his thoughts that need to be heard?

Patty Murphy, over in the next county just across the line, was a wait'n on a delayed flight at the Chicago airport recently. She had been told she would need to wait several hours so she decided to buy a good book to wile away the time. She also bought a packet of nice chocolate chip cookies.

She sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest solitarily and read in peace. Soon, beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a Hispanic man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started read'n.

He had the obvious look of an individual with very limited means and Patty wondered what he was even do'n in the VIP room.

"Probably spend'n money from government welfare," she surmised and "probably an individual to take very advantage for himself of every giveaway program exist'n". He needed to be watched very carefully, she thought to herself.

When Patty took out her first cookie from her packet, the man took one also, without a comment, but gave a polite smile to Patty. She felt very irritated but said noth'n. She simply thought indignantly, "what a nerve this feller has! If'n I was in a right mood I would punch him for daring!"

As Patty took each cookie, the man took one also. This was very infuriate'n to her but she didn't want to cause a scene in the airport with T.S.A. officials all over the place.

When only one cookie remained, she thought: "ah...what will this abusive and aggressive man do now?"

Suddenly and with great deliberation the man took the last cookie. He then, with a smile, divided it into half and gave Patty the larger one half.

Ah! That was too much for Patty's temperament. She has a short fuse, ya know, and she was much too angry now!

In a huff she gave the man a mean sour look, too her book, her things, whirled around in a tither fit, demonstrate'n her indignation to the man, and stormed to the board'n place fer her plane.

The man merely smiled with a pleasant but sorrowful look in what appeared to be a confused state of mind.

Sizzli'n with feel'ns of fire and rage she finally arrived inside the plane and sat down in her assigned seat. After putt'n her seat belt on she looked inside her purse to put her cell phone in its proper place. All cell phones must be shut off before the plane can take off. Flight attendants check and double check to make sure that happens.

To Patty's shocked surprise, her packet of cookies was there, safely in her purse untouched and unopened right where she had earlier placed them.

She felt so ashamed!! She realized that she was wrong and had misjudged the generous man. She had forgotten that her cookies were kept in her purse all along.

The man had generously divided his cookies with her, without feel'n angered or bitter...while she had been very angry, think'n that she was divide'n her cookies with him. And he obviously had the appearance of limited means. Now there was no chance to explain herself...not to apologize.

The moral of Patty's story is there are 4 things that you cannot recover:

1) The word...after it's said. You are the master of the unspoken word but its slave once it leaves your lips.

2) The occasion...after the loss! Quote Erma Bombeck from last weeks column.

3) The time...after it's gone! Who wouldn't like to turn the clock back at certain times.

4) The stone...after the throw! You are in control of the unspent bullet but subject to it's whims after it leaves your barrel!

Give somebody an undeserved hug this week. See ya in church come Sunday morn'n. Have yourself a safe and pleasant week come'n up.

Keep on Smile'n

Catch ya later

Barnyard Bruke