The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.
Greetings to everyone in Western Illinois. The rain comes right regular and those plan'n outdoor out'ns, picnics, and hay make'n are find'n it hard to make good on their plans.
I knows of a feller who's family gave him a surprise 60th birthday party recently in the form of golf'n and picnic'n. Whilst it rained some dur'in both events, his family didn't allow the weatherman to spoil his festivities. Determined as they were, they went ahead and enjoyed their family gather'n inspite of the rain. "Happy Birthday Mike".
Grain prices are a taken a beat'n and speculators are run'n for cover. Shine your crystal ball up right smart before bettin' against fair prices at this time. Many factors go into the markets to determine prices. Speculators affect prices a great deal however, yields as well as the economy in general and the value of the dollar are important components.
Some folk who follow crop conditions feel this year's crop is not as well off as last year's crop was at about the same time of the season. That be'n so, they is look'n for a somewhat overall disappoint'n crop a come'n up.
Well, it's to early to tell for sure but a "feller just has to do his best and accept the rest".
Mrs. Cornelius Farkwad got into a conversation with the boys the other day. She informed them of some interest'n observations of her's in compare'n men to women concern'n money, bathrooms, and marriage.
On money she sez a man will pay $2 for a $1 item "he needs". A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
On bathrooms a man has six or seven items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shav'n cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel and maybe a newspaper or some reading material by the John. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man can't identify more than 20 of these items.
On marriage a woman marries a man expect'n he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expect'n that she won't change, but she does.
Cornelius Farkward went on to proclaim his wife has the last word in any argument. Anything Cornelius sez after that is the begin'n of a new argument.
Buster Jig's wife entered the conversation to explain to us "Boys" why men don't get depressed.
Her thought's were expressed somethin' like this:
Men Are Just Happier People-
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never get pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental $100.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes-one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier, accord'n to Mrs. Jigs.
Bill Jones added a woman will dress up to go shoppin', water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. Mrs. Jones sez a man will dress up for wedd'ns and funerals. Bill added, men wake up as good-look'n as they went to bed. A woman somehow deteriorates dur'n the night.
Mrs. Jasper Jenx added "a woman knows all about her children, she knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams".
She then went on to declare "a man is vaguely aware of some short people liv'n in the house.
Well, those guys and gals had a heap of fun a joke'n back and forth on those man/woman comparisons. It was a rainy day durin' their jawin' session and most of us "smarter" men folk just sat back and listened.
Utah Carol summed his remarks up with the follow'n statement to Mrs. Carol: "A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remember'n the same thing"!
As fer me and the Mrs., we ain't a gonna get into such men/women comparisons. We'll just reflect on what we heard with a smile.
Keep on Smile'n
Catch ya later