The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke "Gardens, liberals, and turkey hunters!"

Greetings to everyone in western Illinois.

I'm a hope'n all you'ns is enjoy'n this cooler weather. It gives a person the opportunity to finish rake'n the lawn and other spring yard work without gett'n too heat up.

It has also put the brakes on plant'n too much corn way ahead of neighbors with more common sense. Rain seems to be come'n easy and plentiful now.

Years ago, University advisers would recommend not plant'n corn before May 15. Others advised wait'n till the hedge leaves got the size of squirrel's ears.

Of course back then they never dreamed of gett'n the big corn yields we gets today. That is if'n we don't get a drought or other adverse weather.

The other advantage of not plant'n early in those by gone days, was you got lower yields and you didn't have as much taxes to pay.

Most farmers hate pay'n taxes. Come to think of it, pay'n taxes generally means you made some money.

With these higher commodity prices and the prospects of capture'n a premium for early harvested corn-I'm a wish'n I had more of it planted right now.

Some folk has been find'n a few mushrooms here and there. I'm a guess'n with that warmer weather we had last week a few of them fungi dared to pop their heads out of the ground for a look see as to what was a go'n on so early.

They tell me there is a feller in Burlington, Iowa that has a mushroom dog for sale.

I guess that dog has a right smart nose on him for them morels and can find a passell of mushrooms in short order. He should place an ad in The Quill for a fast sell.

Turkey hunters is out in force but I haven't seen one bagged yet. Them critters is right smart when it comes to out fox'n a hunter.

I takes that statement back for a moment. Sandy Bob was in Farm King the other day and he seen several turkeys killed on the video machine they had run'n back in the sport'n goods department.

Them hunters made it look easy. There was no charge for watch'n the movie so he stood there and watched it for two hours. He is always one for a good bargain (free movie).

You know, after watch'n them birds get shot with gun, and bow and arrow once, he figured it would be hard to trick "em a second time.

But, shore enough after two hours of watch'n those dumb birds which kept come'n back ever time for another dose of gett'n shot, he got the itch to do some turkey hunt'n. You'd think those turkeys would have wised up! I wonder if'n it were trick photography?

Any ways they made it look so easy Sandy decided to get himself one of them there turkey calls and bag one for Easter dinner.

You guessed it. He practically wore his fingers to the bone and that call in two, without accomplish'n little more than scare'n all the robins away. The more he scratched, the less song birds he saw.

I'm told some of them fellers goes out the day before, about nightfall, and scouts where them fowl is a roost'n. The next morn'n they shows up before daybreak a hope'n to give them sleepy critters some lead poison'n.

That don't seem too sport'n to me and Sandy so he sez he reck'ns he'll stick to scratch"n on those ole plates of wood with sandpaper a hope'n to learn a good tune. But with no luck at it there is always Kentucky Fried Chicken to be had with less effort required.

Buster Jigs told me the other day of his little neighbor girls response when he asked what she wanted to be when she grows up. She quickly replied she wanted to be President of these United States some day.

Both of her liberal parents, good friends of Buster Jigs, were stand'n there proud as a peacock when the little girl was asked, "If'n you were President of the United States what would be the first thing you would do?"

She promptly replied, to the obvious delight of her parents, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people. Her parents beamed, and said "welcome to our liberal philosophy, you have learned your lessons well."

"Wow.... what a worthy goal!" My friend Buster told her. "But you don't have to wait until you're president to do that. You can come over to my house, mow the lawn, pull weeds, pick up sticks, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50.

Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where that healthy homeless guy loafs. You can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."

The little girl thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked Buster Jigs straight in the eyes and asked, "Why doesn't that homeless guy go over to your house and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

Buster smiled and said, "Welcome to the Conservative Party." The little girl's liberal parents aren't speak'n to Buster yet!

The asparagus is up and grow'n good. If'n you wants a real treat, go out and find yourself some. Noth'n better than fresh asparagus.

The Strawberries has blossoms on "em and the fruit trees is a sport'n a grand array of blossoms and aroma.

Now might be a good time to spray on some fungicide on them trees and plants if'n you had troubles last summer with rust etc.

You should have sprayed on a dose of oil and insecticide by now, all prun'n should be done on the fruit trees and raspberries and the grape vines should be trimmed back in good shape already.

Mmm...mmm...mmm I can almost taste those good fruit come'n on already. I figure me and the boys will just crank us up a batch of homemade ice cream just to prepare our taste buds for those future treats, later on.

And by the way, anybody been fish'n lately in farm pond with chillen or grandchillens.

You'r a miss'n out on some real fun if'n you haven't and you're cheat'n those youngn's out of some special pleasure with their ma and pa and grandpa and grandma.

Throw in a picnic basket lunch and a blanket and give it a try if'n you haven't already. Life goes by mighty fast to pass up good family fun like that.

By the way, I might just pool my money with the boys and travel to Iowa if'n the river don't get too high and buy that thare mushroom dog for our own little groups mushroom picke'n enjoyment. If'n we has any left over, maybe we'll put an ad in The Quill and share em with youn's!

I heard lightnin' hit the Fort Madison railroad bridge last night and as a result they shut down the bridge. I'm a hopin' it's a false report and people who work there can travel across this mornin'

With the river risin' and the gas prices, too, and another rain storm forecast for Friday, I'm thinkin' we need to plan ahead before we leave our home place.

Keep on Smilen'
Catch ya Later
Barnyard Bruke