The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke: "The same government that gave us Japanese Beetles will be run'n our health care program!"

Greetings to everyone in Western Illinois:

"Rain makes grain" or so the say'in goes.

However, if'n you don't have all your corn ground planted, yet this spring, rain can be a source of worry that is of course if'n you have a propensity to worry.

This fine weather we have been have'n is make'n a lot of things grow. From grass in the yard to weeds in the field.

The troublesome fact is that some seeds want to grow even if'n they aren't in the ground. The issue at point is grain in the bin.

Some farmers, whilst they were allow'n their GPS to drive their tractors, took an admirin'ly long gaze at their farmstead at a distance only to notice steam come'n from their grain bins.

For those that don't know much about grain bins (city slickers), this is not natural. It means you've got major problems. If'n it were winter you could hook'em up to your house, provide'n enough heat for most of the winter. A mite expensive, but at least you could salvage something.

The best avenue of attack is to shut down your tractor, hurry over to your grain bin, and start move'n some corn.

The greatest hope is to find someone who will buy it without too much monetary loss in dockage.

Ah, the joys of a farmer warehouseman. Those who store their grain in commercial elevators, just kept on plant'n.

All of this wind we have been a have'n lately has its advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are that it fairly evenly scatters the maple tree seed a fair distance from the source.

Most of it seems to be in your house eave troughs and gutters to provide a dam to hold water for bird bathin' and waterin'. It also provides employment for those who replace roof gutters after they have rusted thru, from the stagnant water.

Bill Jones cited an advantage the wind, the other day, provided from "Mr. Short Britches with his cap on backwards". Bill tells me he's plan'n on apply'n only one-half the chemicals to his corn field this year.

It seems Mr. Short Britches with his twenty four row planter got so far ahead of the spray'in-operation that it posed a threat for fertilizer and weed control application in a timely manner.

When those gale storm hurricane winds was a howl'n the other day, the spray men were apply'n chemicals to "Shorties" land to try to catch up on their work before the corn growth got ahead of them.

Bill figures one-half the chemicals made it over to his farm. Consequently, ole Bill is plan'n on include'n both Mr. Short Britches and the spray operator on his Christmas list.

The EPA was happy as a lark as well, for they are a plan'n, it appears, on enhance'n their operate'n funds with fines collected from Mr. Short Britches and his operator.

It seems their logic is if'n it's too windy to keep your hat on frontward-it's too windy to be a spray'n.

I'd guess Bill is right in that maybe the EPA is worried the stray spray may kill some unintended weeds. That a way weeds might be threatened to become extinct which would harm our economy by put'n ultimately weed chemical companies out of business. It's kind of like the same mentality for keep'n a refuge for bad bugs so they won't become extinct.

As for myself, I'm a wish'n someone could make those stink'n, bite'n Japanese beetles, that likes the habitat in every corner of my house and come out when the sun shines,-extinct. I'm told the government agreed to import them to kill some other bug.

The problem is they forgot to ask us common folk, who live in a house, if'n we liked share'n and provide'n live'n quarters for the stinky little rascals.

Why, I've woke up in the middle of the night with two of those little critters crawl'n up my nose!

I believe as I reflect back on the rude awakening, they was a make'n' a mating dance for one of those Japanese girlfriends-Hawaiian Pearl Harbor style, right there in the obscurity of the middle of the night in my bedroom on the end of my snout!

I dare say, if'n I weren't snore'n so badly they might not of been scared off from crawl'n inside for more privacy.

One sudden quick and hard whack in the darkness and the awful smell lets you know there is one or more less live government-supplied Japanese beetles in the house.

The awful pain and flowing blood that now fully awaken's you, lets you know it's not wise to give a quick hard whack to a mating bug on the end of your nose.

Cornelius sez what really worries him is the fact that the same government that supplied us with those Japanese beetles will now be run'n our health care program.

It does make one wonder. Eventually, you might have to wait in line to fix your sore swollen broken nose with a bug smashed on the end of it.

Keep on Smile'n

Catch ya Later

Barnyard Bruke