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The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke: "Don't Let Corporate America hold back Rural America. Celebrate the 4th with a new resolve!"

Greetings to everyone in Western Illinois. Well, I made up me mind last week that I would not comment this week on the unend'n rain.

Therefore, I'm not going to discuss the fact that we have now received over 33 inches rain since April 28 and one farmer claims he has received over 42 inches rain since April 1. Neither am I going to discuss how sick some of this corn is now look'n and the fact there is yet 15% soybeans yet to be planted this spring.

Nor will I mention that after corn begins tasseling, root growth slows down, in lieu of reproduction growth 1 ear or two of corn. If'n Elwood Taylor is correct on his drought prediction, we'll find ourselves in quite a pickle. Nay, I'll not mention any of that because there is no use borrowing trouble.

In fact, I'm not going to mention that deep Southern Illinois, near Ridgeway, is dry as a bone and begg'n for a rain. That would only make farmers in these parts set their minds as how to transfer some of this moisture temporarily in a Southern direction.

What I will mention however, is that to the best of my knowledge, Richard Brokaw is not a ditch digger. He traces underground drainage tile the "old fashioned" way. a "strong back", a "long probe", and "plenty of hard-back break'n work". If'n you wants a ditch digger, you needs to find someone with a "tiling" machine, back hoe, and/or shiny spade".

I know of several farmers talk'n of purchasing good used drainage diggers for their own use. One feller up North in Rozetta township is even talk'n of put'n a valve in his drainage tile to regulate the outflow of water during dry spells.

Seems like a right smart idea, and know'n Mr. Clark as I do, I'm sure he'll make it work. Them Rozetta Baptists was right at the front of the line when the good Lord was hand'n out "common sense", brains, and the right amount of rain. I'm continually amazed at how fortunate they are. Them Lucky "Buggers"!

Sandy Bob was tell'n of a feller he ran acrosst recently, over a breakfast table, from Michigan. The man has 4 or 5 trucks and spreads limestone for farmers fields up there in the North country.

When Sandy inquired about the man's family he indicated he was single. Being 47 years old he was scouring about for a woman. Further inquiry indicated he has had 5 girl friends from Brazil and made visits to court them there.

However, more recently he has been date'n several women from Columbia and has made several trips there as well.

It seems both the Brazilian women folk and the Columbian women folk thinks he's extremely wealthy because he has control over 4 or 5 trucks.

Never mind that the bank keeps the title on those trucks and he's barely make'n end's meet. He don't tell em that part, of course.

Most of em, he has met, are in their early 20's and have had their first child as an unwed mother at 17 years old. They are aggressively look'n for a man-preferably American, and of course rich, to help with the lunch bucket.

Sandy asked the man if'n he spoke Portuguese or Spanish or had relatives and/or friends, other than women folk, in these countries. His answer was "No" he's always lived in Michigan.

Well then, Sandy sez, how is it he comes to know and date so many women so far away.

"That's simple" came the reply, it's thru the internet. He gets their background info, picture, and all important questions answered before make'n the trip to their homes.

As Sandy was a tell'n his story, I see's the widower Bill Jones with a strange look on his face. I reckoned he was go'n to give Sandy Bob a lecture on mortality and the dangers of internet dating in a foreign country.

Ole Bill Jones directly clears his throat, straightens up his bib overalls with his thumb hang'n on his left overall strap, he blurts our clearly, forcefully, and with sincere concern- "What's the website that trucker was a use'n"! It would seem Ole Bill might have some travel time saved up!

I'll keep ya posted if'n anything comes of it to his benefit. However again, don't hold your breath. Even Columbian and Brazilian women might have problems fixate'n on "Ole Bill" and if'n they wouldn't I'm sure their parents would. Even a regular full lunch bucket might seem a poor trade for his likes.

Some has figured out now in the Battle betwixt Corporate America and Rural folks that Corporate America has the lead'n edge over Rural America and farmers. The Corporate world has the EPA, the President's cabinet, and a mighty large "war chest" to their advantage.

The battle to keep the "peasants" in their proper place has given over to administrative legal jargon and delayed procedures. The "peasants" seem content to survive off government subsidies, as in the past.

I'm not giving up hope however. The stuff that makes up "Rural America" character is solid and without match by those that would hold em down. Me self and the boys, Buster Jigs, Cornelius Farkwad, Sandy Bob and yes, even Bill Jones, is a gonna fight the battle right to victory. That is the same attitude our forefathers had agin the British when King George was a try'n to hold perciered peasants of an earlier time frame in their proper place.

Don't forget the various "ice cream" socials, community events, and 4th of July celebration come'n up. It's also a good time when you see them fireworks display'n the glory of "our Independence", to renew your resolve not to allow victory to corporate domination over rural America.

Catch ya later

Barnyard Bruke