The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

The Wisdom Of Barnyard Bruke; "I've Never Met A Man So Ignorant" "That I Couldn't Learn Something From Him"

Greetings to everyone in Western Illinois.

I'm a hop'n everyone is doing well with this fairer weather we are a hav'n.

Many folk I run into these days when asked how they are a doing, say "Pretty Good".

As for myself, I'm not "Pretty" and "Good" is a word reserved for someone a site better than me.

Of course, I'm a always try'n to be good but most often find myself fall'n a mite short.

The Good Book addresses this fairly well if'n you care to look it up.

As for being "Pretty", I suppose that is a relative thing. Compared to an ole mule I once had, it could be said I'm a tad bit on the "Pretty" side. Beyond that, "Pretty" and "Good", are adjectives what should be reserved for those who qualify better and younger than I.

Some say, well if'n you are not "Pretty" and you are not "Good" then how is it that you was able to lasso that spouse of your'n.

Well folks, it was all charm, with a bit of deception in the form of romance. Remember what I told you last week:

"The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of"!

Have you ever greeted anyone with, "How are you doing" and they follow with a 60 minute dialogue specifically spelling out exactly how they are doing right down to the state of their personal economy along with ever ache and pain they has ever felt in the last month or two.

It can cause a person to change their greetings to something like, "Nice weather we are a hav'n."

But, don't include, "Nice weather we are hav'n, isn't it?" Because then you're apt to receive a fairly lengthy dissertation like: "too cold" or "too hot" or "too rainy" or "too dry" or "too snowy" or "too something or another".

Knowing how to talk a whole lot about something whilest at the same time say'n nothing is called, "Phatic language."

Those that are really good at "Phatic Language" are generally very interesting to converse with, and are good at not burning bridges with their words.

How many of you'ns know that, "For every thunderstorm in February, there will be a cold spell in May"!

It's an old farmer's rule of thumb and could certainly qualify for the begin'n of some fairly good "Phatic Language" conversations.

I don't involve politics or religion and you could build on it for a hour or so by recalling past experiences and future anticipations.

By the way, did I ever tell you the story of a foul mouthed parrot ole Cornelius once had?

This particular parrot had picked up some filthy words by his previous owner, who keep him in a local saloon.

He became so obnoxious as to require his sale by the saloon owner to prevent his rudeness to the public's ears.

Cornelius warned the parrot to clean up his act whilest he was in his home.

The parrot persisted in uttering obscenities, until one day Cornelius said, "If'n you keep it up, I'm a going to stick you in the freezer."

Well, unfortunately the parrot responded with a vulgar oath so ole Cornelius grabbed him quickly and stuck him in the freezer for a few minutes to cool his spurs.

Upon retrieving the parrot and allowing him time to warm up, Cornelius ask if'n he was ready to stay out of the freezer and behave?

"Y-y-yes," blurted out the parrot as he was still shivering.

"J-j-just one question, what kind of words did that turkey in the freezer use"?

We now have around 50 calves and are dropping a few every night.

Two heifers calved day before yesterday and one heifer follered her calf into mortality. That always cuts into the profit margins some.

I expect most of youn's already know this, but how many know how to milk an Angus cow whose personality is not made up for milking?

Well I've done my share and its not that difficult. Of course If'n you've got one of those fancy high fandangled catch chutes it's not hard at all.

But if'n you is poor folk without a fancy chute then worry not.

Catch that ole girl by a lariat and hold her head fast to a stationary object.

An old barn milking stanchion will do, but then again so will a stout oak or shag bark hickory tree.

Tie one hind leg high with a rope, made of used baling twine braided into rope if'n you like , off the ground tight behind her to barn wall or another tree.

If'n she tries to kick stand'n on 3 legs she knows she will fall. Throw a heavy comforter over her head so's she can't see what's goin on.

Bring the new born calf in close to her head and body so she can smell and feel it.

Then start milking for that first milk. More often than not she'll think is her calf tuggin' on her udder.

Eventually, put the calf in place to learn the procedure itself. Even the dumb'st calf figures it out, but some can take a few days.

I might add, after that first milking the cow becomes a bit leery when you approach her with a rope.

But then, if'n you are going to be a cowboy you had better figure out how to use a rope and how to borrow the Mrs. Comforter.

Short of that, I'm a guess'n maybe a quick trip to the vets office might be in order to purchase some of that fancy colostrum formula they now sell.

In the old days we used to keep some first milk colostrum on hand, from another cow, for just such emergencies.

With this, "Economic melt down" the press says we are experiencing, maybe we are gonna have to pick up some of the "old ways" to get by for a season.

I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him". (Galileo Galilei) Have a good week and keep on smil'n.

Catch ya later,

Barnyard Bruke