The Hancock-Henderson Quill, Inc.

Romance

by Dessa Rodeffer, Quill Publisher/Owner

8 February 2006

....Okay, I really can't give you 2,006 romantic ideas that will fit in the Quill, but there are thousands of ideas in books that can make for a warm and wonderful Valentines Day.

According to one book, romance is back in style, and if you are not experiencing it, you've been isolating yourself way too long.

Love and relationship authors say people want to feel appreciated and have fun and share some "special moments" together that are stress free. That requires some romance. For those who are known romantics at heart, that is a piece of cake, but for others who have been just too busy with life to smell the roses, it might take a lot of uncomfortable effort.

If the only time you think "romantic" is at Valentines Day, you are probably feeling like a fish out of water, but confucius say, "Wherever you go, go with all your heart!"

The best gift you can give someone is your undivided attention, called quality time.

That involves eye contact, TV off, newspaper down, questions and answers, and yes, a little thoughtful planning.

Basic Romance 101: only flirt with your sweetheart.

Now that this is out of the way, maybe you can start with a little old fashion love letter. Express your love in a note and actually mail it to her/him with a romantic stamp. If you get one, frame it as a constant reminder on those not so good days.

Oh, you haven't sent flowers before. You can make up for that, too. Send two dozen (red for love) roses instead of the traditional dozen. Remember to truly enjoy Valentines Day, you have to come out of your shell.

What would you consider a romantic weekend? Never thought about it... you ARE in trouble.

If you can't afford a weekend in Paris, I am sure you would impress her with a weekend just about anywhere. Kidnap she or he, (prearrange the children or the jobs needed done).

My daughter-in-law did this by arriving at the office with suitcases packed, and my son's work associates already agreeing to cover for him. He had no idea where they were going and was a little upset at first, but now the Bed and Breakfast is a regular trip they always cherish and look forward to.

When you love someone - express it. It relaxes stressed muscles and makes life beautiful.

Studies show that stressed men drink and invade countries and stressed women eat chocolate and invade shopping malls.

It also says that women talk without thinking and men act without thinking. That's why 90% of those in jail are men and 90% of those at the therapist are women.

Love and attention can help cure a lot of problems. Studies show that some fail to show love due to hurt, jealousy, or fear.

Perhaps, this Valentines Day, if you are in a poor relationship, you can give the gift of a fresh start.

Schedule a picture session with a photographer of you and your mate and have it framed to commemorate the day.

Then plan a special evening. There is really no magic formula for this, you just learn to love by being loving in whatever you do.

There are thousands of suggestions in books but I am sure you can come up with several. The important thing is not to sit on the sidelines.

Then don't limit your romantic gestures to Valentines Day. Write nice little "thank you notes" everytime your mate does something nice for you. Start a love album.

For a few hints on movies, you can pick an old one if there are none currently playing that interest you.

1939-Gone With The Wind, 1942-Casablanca, 1952-Singin' In The Rain, 1961-West Side Story, 1970-Love Story, 1981-On Golden Pond, 1998-Shakespeare In Love.

Remember to keep a sense of humor and reward the effort. One lady said she and her husband came up with a compromise. "I go to the game with him, but I don't have to eat a hot dog."

Guys, you've got to try a little harder than this. And you might avoid Country and Western songs such as, "My Girlfriend Ran Away With My Best Friend And I Miss Him."

The wisest man in the Bible is said to be King Solomon. He prayed for wisdom and God blessed him with both wisdom and riches. Solomon devotes an entire book on passion and love-The Song of Solomon.

It is wise advice then, to learn to love.

The final question for each of us is, "If all the love you gave was returned to you, what would you get?"